Parents, stop complaining about playing time | Michael Cuneo

For as long as I've covered high school sports, parents have never been shy about voicing concerns.

While some parents will find any reason to raise an issue, others offer legitimate concerns when needed. But for as many hot-topic issues I've encountered, the complaint about lack of playing time is a fire that might never die.

It's a story as old as time: A parent has spent countless hours chauffeuring their child from practice and games, poured thousands of dollars into specialized training and equipment, and invested plenty of sweat equity, all in the hopes that they will see their child on the field or court.

But then comes the big bad coach, who, for reasons that can only be equated with malignancy, refuses to grant the athlete playing time, even if it's their senior season.

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I understand how maddening this situation is, but we must be honest: Your kid is sitting on the bench for a reason, and it’s at the coach’s discretion.

That's a tough pill to swallow and, for some, a mindset that isn't popular. However, in the overwhelming majority of cases, it's the truth.

It starts at home

I once waited 20 minutes after a game to interview a coach. They were dealing with a player in tears because they didn't play in the big rivalry game the team had just won. The moment was special for the school, which hadn't beaten its rival in years. Instead of celebrating with their team, the player was upset that underclassmen started ahead of them.

I played high school sports, so I understand the frustration that comes with a lack of playing time. I've never met an athlete that likes sitting the bench.

I also can't help but assume that the mentality starts at home. Even experienced players don't always make the cut, and that needs to be OK.

Discouraging coaches

We all know the job of a high school coach isn't glamorous.

They work long hours and receive little pay, often needing to work another job to make ends meet. Add in disputes with angry parents, and things can become overwhelming. But that, in some capacity, is what they signed up for.

Former longtime New Hanover girls basketball coach Vertha Dixon-Wright says coaches must understand that they can't please everyone.

"If you're taking a position (as a high school coach), you've got to expect to have some issues with parents. That's their little baby, and this is what they expect and want, and sometimes you're going to bump heads," she said.

However, as more coaches nationwide quit unexpectedly , issues with parents are becoming an increasingly dominant theme.

In January, former Laney girls basketball coach Chinyere Bell resigned from her role with the team just 11 games into the season. For Bell, dealing with an angry parent pushed her over the edge.

While coaches should understand what they're getting into, fans, players, and parents should also bring the same understanding to the mentality and environment they foster.

Growing anger

Complaints about playing time are nothing new, but things seem to be heating up in recent years.

A high school basketball coach in Brooklyn, New York, was confronted by an angry parent at his home in 2018. The incident ended with gunshots fired.

In 2023, a St. Louis football coach, who was shot four times in front of his team by a player's parent, said the incident was caused by anger due to lack of playing time.

Even at the highest levels, parents are still getting involved. Last March, USMNT soccer star Gio Reyna's father came under fire for his attempt to increase his son's playing time and guarantee Gregg Berhalter didn't continue as the team's coach.

While most parents respect the coaching process, the ones who don't are hard to miss. It might be a case of a small group making a lot of noise, but that group seems to be getting more feisty as the years pass, and it's time for fans and fellow parents to call out the behavior at every level.

This article originally appeared on Wilmington StarNews: Parents, stop complaining about playing time | Michael Cuneo