Anita Wells shares her adoption story and her journey to finding the meaning of family on her own terms.
For many people, we grow up at home with our parents who we call family. For some, the word ‘family’ can change its meaning. Our parents or our guardians shift responsibilities and meaning over time for us.
Anita Wells is a Duplin County resident who was adopted after birth. She began a journey to find her birth parents through a long and winding path that started in her thirties.
On April 25, Wells presented her adoption story in Raleigh during an event called A Place to Call Home which is a fundraiser through the Children’s Home Society. The organization is the agency that connected Wells to her adoptive parents.
“For the majority of us, we are who the mother gives birth to, names us, and raises us to be. But for those of us who do go up for adoption, there are so many different choices that can be made. So many different families that would love to have a child, especially a baby in their family,” said Wells in her speech.
One day, Wells received an email from a woman who helps bring together adopted children and their biological parents. Wells’s mother was looking to contact her thirty four years after giving birth to her.
Wells was shocked and began processing this life changing event. She discovered her mother’s identity. Wells was now in contact with her biological mother (who will remain unnamed in this story to protect her privacy) and found out that she was born in a facility for unwed mothers in Charlotte.
The conditions for the women in the facilities were not comfortable and typically the parents of these young pregnant women were the ones who sent them to these facilities surrounded by a lot of shame since it was more taboo at the time.
For Wells, this was hurtful to hear at first but she realized how brave her mother had to be not only to go through all of this — she wanted to courageously connect with her daughter for the first time in her life.
This was the first part of many events in the story for Wells. Although this connection brought suffering, it helped Wells reach closure to her story. Continuing through Facebook friend requests, librarians, breakfast out at restaurants, and word of mouth, Wells eventually found more of her biological family.
The journey connected Wells more to her own daughters and Children’s Home Society. She helped organize a Christmas toy drive called Home for the Holidays with her daughters and twenty four children were given holiday gifts from the donations.
When Wells was adopted, she was placed in a little bassinet at the Children’s Home Society. Her adoptive parents could not wait to pick her up and this is how they first saw her. “I just could not get over the fact that they brought a baby home and they had nothing…they just went there and got a baby and brought it home, Mama held me the whole way home,” she said.
Although tracing back to her origin story with her biological family was difficult, Wells remembers the unconditional love of her adoptive parents, especially from her new father. “Pick her up, and let’s take her home before they change their minds,” her adoptive father stated to her about the memory of bringing her home.
“With family, now that I have both — it was always kind of funny for me because…maybe my youngest child looks like me…I had never really heard that…I just wanted to see someone that looked like me,” said Wells.
“But I hope I never forget that I owe everything to the Children’s Home Society for giving me my family,” she said.
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