Crazy Things We Say in All 50 States

Photo by John-Mark Smith on Unsplash

Actually, it's only 49 funny sayings from where I sit. Probably from where you sit as well. Let me start by saying that I am from Texas and the rest of y'all talk funny. Now don't get all riled up. We all sound funny to outsiders. I'm going to ask the grammar police to take a day off and allow us to have a little fun with the language of all fifty states: what we say, how we say it, and what the heck it means. Of, course I may have to translate it into Texan first, then into English for you.

Alabama "Butter my butt and call me a biscuit" is a way of expressing delight and surprise in a state where the locals speak slowly, clearly, and colorfully. And they would probably tell the rest of us, "don't be ugly" if we make fun of them.

Alaska "Sourdough" may be a bread in California, but in Alaska, it refers to a long-time resident of the state. And "combat fishing" doesn't usually involve weapons. It refers to the crowded opening day of the salmon fishing season.

Arizona In the desert heat, you need a "swamp cooler." Let that sink in. It happens to be an evaporative air conditioner, sometimes mounted on the roof, but often in a window.

Arkansas "Fit to be tied" usually refers to someone who is really angry. Like if their football team just lost or the car parked next to them at Walmart is "cattywampus." (That's "crooked" for the rest of you.)

California Californians may have the least amount of accent of all of us, but they can twist the language in the strangest ways. "Gotta get flat" means you need to lay down. Where I'm from "flat" refers either to a tire with a nail in it or your hair when you run out of hairspray.

Colorado In a state filled with non-natives, a "gaper" is a tourist gaping at the snow and mountains. Coloradoans, both the natives and the trespassers (I mean transplants), are also known to shorten the name of every town and landmark in the state. Fort Collins becomes "The Fort," Colorado Springs becomes "The Springs," Breckenridge becomes "Breck," and the Poudre River is just "The Poudre" (pronounced POO-der).

Connecticut A "tag sale" is apparently what you do to get rid of your junk. The rest of us call it a "garage sale" or a "yard sale." And after the tag sale is over someone needs to make a "packie run" for some beer at the package store.

Delaware This state is scrunched up between New Jersey and Maryland. In the north, it's all about giving the New Jersey tourists the "side-eye." In the "slower lower" half of the state, the dialect borders on being downright Southern where they say things like "hi hon" to greet you and "colley flare" to describe a white vegetable similar to broccoli.

Florida The first time I visited this state I was quite surprised to discover that they speak fluent Southern. Even the transplants from up north learn to slow down and say things like, "On her wedding day she was happier than a seagull with a French fry."

Georgia In parts of the country saying "That dog won't hunt," means you have a defective dog. Down here it means the speaker is highly suspicious of what they've just been told. As in "something smells a little fishy about that."

Hawaii How does a Texan even begin to decipher things in a state that actually does have another language? You wouldn't think it would be hard since we both use so many extra vowel sounds. But all of those long-vowels are about as clear as mud to someone who speaks with extra ah's and uh's. I do love how they use "Auntie" as a respectful way to refer to any woman of your parent's generation.

Idaho Even people I know who have lived in Idaho can't find much original about the language there. But if you want to fit in, the capital city is pronounced "boy-see." There's no "z."

Illinois A "sawbuck" refers to $10 in this state and "brewzkies" are what you spend your sawbuck on down at the local bar.

Indiana "Hoosiers" may be the team name for the state university here, but it's best not to call a resident of the state a "hoosier," because it's the equivalent of calling them a redneck. Which by the way, is only an insult in some cases. In others, it’s a badge of honor.

Iowa What the rest of us call a "wedgie" seems to have a softer-sounding version in Iowa, where they call it a "snuggie." Yup, like the diapers.

Kansas So let me get this straight, y'all walk into KFC and order a bucket of "yardbird?" As in, "Please pass the mash potatoes and yardbird?" Alrighty then.

Kentucky I know that there are "hollers" in other states, but most folks call them valleys. After six seasons of Justified, I kind of prefer "holler" myself. They also have funny sayings like "I think your wig's a little loose." Texas translation: "What kind of nut job are you, anyway?"

Louisiana They say quite a few things in Louisiana that I don’t understand, mostly because of the accent and the speed of the conversation. The one that perplexes me most is, "I'm going by your house later." Well, why just go by when you could stop on in.

Maine Don’t you just love the sound of the phrase "leef peepahs?" It refers to all of us non-Mainers who go there to see the fall foliage.

Maryland A "chicken necker" is a tourist trying to catch crabs. Unless of course, said tourist is from Kansas, which would make them a "yardbird necker."

Massachusetts I dearly love any state that attaches the word "wicked" to everything they love. It's wicked good.

Michigan "Geez-o-Pete!" is an expletive involving Jesus and St. Peter. Y'all midwesterners are more polite about your cussing that we are in Texas.

Minnesota Where do you even begin with Minnesota? They say some weird stuff up there. The rest of us add "ish" to a word to mean "sort of." Up there they use it as a stand-alone word meaning yuk or eew. Probably has something to do with the fact that their lips are frozen solid for half of the year. And what the heck does "uff da" mean?

Mississippi When your mama doesn't like your friends she will tell you that they don't have a "lick of sense." Then she'd tell you that if she catches you with them again she's going to "slap you naked and hide your clothes."

Missouri I've never been quite sure if the way Missourians say the names of the two St. Louis interstate highways is an accent thing or a commentary on the aroma. Either way, it's hard to keep a straight face when they give directions that involve "Farty and Farty Far."

Montana Idaho may not have their own funny phrases, but the neighbors have got them covered. A "spudmuncher" is what Montanans call someone from Idaho.

Nebraska "Bugeaters" are what Nebraskans call themselves. Gotta wonder if the "Oracle of Omaha," Warren Buffet, is included in that group.

Nevada I'm not sure that Nevada's transient population can claim any long-term language oddities, but they surely are responsible for some relatively new descriptive terms that would make their neighbors in Utah blush. "Pornslappers" are those annoying people on street corners handing out little invitations to strip shows.

New Hampshire Pronunciation can drastically alter the meaning of a word. Most of us use the word "draw" as a verb meaning sketch or when it's time to take another card. In New Hampshire, it's where they store the silverware, as in, "The spoons are in the draw." They sometimes also have an odd way of putting things. When it's nap time, they say, "Put down the baby." In Texas, we "put down" our animals to end their lives humanely. Ish.

New Jersey I Love the way they talk in this state. Sometimes there are extra words thrown in, as in "Not for nuthin' but…" at the beginning of almost any sentence. Other times they seem to randomly leave out words, like when they say "down the shore" instead of "down to the shore."

New Mexico There's quite a bit of Western slang used in New Mexico, but almost no trace of the twang that usually goes with it. They also have an interesting blend of English and Spanish that's acceptable for both languages. "Carrucha" is Spa-nglish for a low-rider car. There's no Spanish definition for the word, but it sure is fun to say.

New York New Yorkers like to be different so they tend to say they are standing "on line," not "in line." The one beef I have with them is the pronunciation of Houston Street. In Texas, we say, "HEW-ston," not "Hows-ton." Just sayin'.

North Carolina While most of us turn lights off, in North Carolina they "cut the lights out." They also "might could" use a "buggy" at the grocery store.

North Dakota Phrases with double meanings can make it hard for outsiders to get the subtleties of a conversation. When someone from North Dakota says "Yah y'betcha yah" either they understand and agree with you or think you are an idiot.

Ohio Regardless of the meaning in other states, in Ohio "cornhole" refers to a beanbag toss game. And the strip of grass between the sidewalk and the street is called the "devils strip." The obvious question is whether they play cornhole in the devil's strip. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Oklahoma Since they mostly talk just like Texans, I don’t think Okies sound funny at all. The rest of you probably think it's odd that they all say "gonna run into town" even when they live in town.

Oregon People we used to call "tree huggers" are now described with the adjective, "granola" in Oregon. "Stop being so granola and eat your hamburger."

Pennsylvania This is a state that has its own official dialect. Really. So it's okay when they say sub sandwiches are "hoagies." Ice cream sprinkles are "jimmies." And if you need to tidy up a mess you "red it up."

Rhode Island Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the only state to call a hot dog a "hot wiener" is Rhode Island. They also say, "bang a u-ey" when they mean "make a U-turn."

South Carolina Language is so endearing in this state. They have a nice way to say almost anything. "Bless her lil' ol' heart" can mean they empathize with someone or they absolutely despise that person. "Bow head" is a not-so-polite way to describe a sorority girl.

South Dakota There are lots of cross-over words between the Dakotas and Minnesota. "Hotdish" is a casserole, "get a wiggle on" means hurry up, and "tots" are not children, but frozen potatoes that they likely just added to the hotdish.

Tennessee The city we all call Nashville is becoming "Nashvegas" and there ain't no sense in "bawling and squallin" about it.

Texas I admit that we have a colorful way of saying things in my home state. Sometimes we drag things out and sometimes we speak in our own shorthand. I'm going to trust you with one of those secret short versions. When a female in this state says, "Ahh HELL no," it could mean anything from "the horse busted out of the barn," to "that hussy better not be talking to my man." It also could mean that she's got a flat (either the tire or the hair). Whatever she means, it's better to just get out of her way.

Utah If you hear about a student "sluffing," don’t be too alarmed. They aren't shedding skin. They're just cutting class. Utah is also one of those polite swearing states. They say, "Oh my heck!" when their kids are caught sluffing.

Vermont They are proud of their heritage up there in Vermont. They have a saying about transplants who claim to be Vermonters. "Just because a cat has her kittens in the oven, don't make them biscuits."

Virginia "Squids" aren't cousins to octopuses along the Virginia coast. They're newly enlisted sailors. And in the hills, "et up" means afflicted, as in "I got et up by them skeeters last night."

Washington Is it being "granola" of people in Washington to insert the actual word "blip" in place of a curse word? Or are they just polite? And what do Seattle natives think of being called "web-footers?"

West Virginia There are "hollers" here, just like in Kentucky, and they "pert near" have their own language, including a drink called "co-cola."

Wisconsin Sentences ending in prepositions and odd sayings like "upside right" are common in America's Dairyland. They probably think the rest of us are "dumber than a sack of hammers" for speaking any other way.

Wyoming Someone that "looks like ten miles of dirt road" is more than a little disheveled.

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