Free agents with bird names who could help the 2022 Cincinnati Reds

Perhaps the only way to beat the best is to be the best.

The St. Louis Cardinals were not the best team in the National League Central this past season, but that’s mostly beside the point. They’ve been the single most potent franchise in the Midwest for decades, the club that the Cincinnati Reds have long been chasing with futility, the club that won 17 games in a row to claim a playoff spot this year and fired their manager at season’s end because it still wasn’t good enough.

Cardinals are birds. Maybe the Cincinnati Reds need to get more birds.

It’s Friday, and on Friday we make lists. Below is an incomplete list of baseball players with bird names who would give the 2022 Cincinnati Reds a punching chance at making the real, live, actual MLB Playoffs.

Jay Bruce

Starling Marte

Yellow-rumped Warbleury Garcia

Robinson Chirinos

Scoter Gennett

Martin Perez

Jeff Parrot

As you can see from this incomplete yet exhaustive list, there are precious few free agents with bird names who could help the 2022 Cincinnati Reds in their quest to win the National League Central and make the real, live, actual MLB Playoffs. Perhaps they will have to pursue such via trade, instead.

Or just sign Starling Marte.