How to Find Your Purpose in Life

Image by @lelia_milaya via Twenty20

by: E.B. Johnson

What is it you want to do with your life? Do you know what makes you happy? Do you know what your ideal future would look like? We have to have a clear vision of our happiness in order to build it, but that takes some genuine honesty and a strong sense of who we are. If you want to ensure a future, that’s worthwhile, then you need to identify your purpose when it comes to your self-fulfillment. Once you’re clear on your purpose, it becomes that much easier to get where we want to be in life and in love.

Why having a purpose makes a difference.

Having a purpose in your life makes a big difference in both the quality of our current state and our futures. To give ourselves a purpose in life is to give ourselves meaning and drive that transcends the hardships which inevitably come our way. Do you want to get clear on what matters in your life? Do you want to know what makes life worthwhile? Or where you can source your passion? Find your purpose and it all reveals itself.

Pinpoint what matters

When we give ourselves a purpose, we grant ourselves a clarity that helps us to identify what matters across the board in life and love. It’s a natural part of the process. We only identify our purpose once we know what things are most important to us. Break it down. What do you want from your relationships? What do you want from your career? Your hobbies? Your family? Work out what you find most important and your purpose aligns with it to solidify your path.

Seeking personal success

We all need personal success in order to be happy. Now, before you scream at your screen, it’s important that you understand what personal success looks like. Rather than making a certain amount of money or owning certain things (though these can certainly be components) we have to establish and meet our own goals. Personal success looks like anything that makes us feel happy and rewarded for existing in this chaotic world. In order to be successful on a personal level (whatever that means to you) you need to know in what direction you are working.

Worthwhile living

Do you feel you’re floating through life? Do most things around you feel meaningless or foreign? These are excellent signs that we are lacking purpose and stuck in a place that we don’t belong. That will bever bring us happiness and it will never bring us that feeling of being full from the inside out. That only comes from knowing what gives our lives meaning. Life is hard. Having a purpose makes it easier to withstand the rough moments and keep our heads up and our eyes focused on the prize.

Finding a starting point

A purpose — more than anything else is a compass which helps us to find where we belong in life. While the purpose you find now may change (this is natural) it’s still worth working toward. Pinpointing a purpose allows us to decide on a direction to take ourselves in, and it empowers us to set goals that make us excited or motivated to move forward. Want to have a reason to get up in the morning? Want to build a future you’re proud of? Start by figuring out your purpose.

Pursuing our passions

In life, few things work out the way we expect (or want) them to. We need drive and passion in order to persevere and overcome the struggles that circumstance brings to our doors. Without this intrinsic sense of motivation, we find ourselves burned out and struggling to make sense of who we are and where we’re at. In order to avoid the confusion and heartbreak of an empty and failed life, we have to identify our purpose and do it early.

How to find your purpose in life.

So what is your purpose in this world? What do you want to do with your life? What do you want to make of your time here? You’ve got to figure out what really matters in order to plug into true happiness. Once you know what you want to do with your life, you’ll be able to set a course to direct action and fulfillment.

1. Pinpoint your specific needs

We need to have a purpose in life, but quite paradoxically that purpose is composed of needs. Our needs are central to figuring out our lives. We need certain behaviors and treatment from our partners. We need a certain level of support and love from our families and our friends. These needs (and the plethora of other needs we find ourselves dealing with) have to be brought to the surface in order for us to get clear on our core meaning. Want that life you’ve been visualizing forever? What do you need to get it?

Spend some time alone getting clear on your specific needs. You need to pinpoint what makes you happy in everything from relationships to your career in order to take action toward those goals. You can’t do that based on what other people want for you or from you. This is about what you want.

Get a journal and spend a little time alone each week writing about the things you need from your partners, your jobs, your environment, and even your family. Where are your boundary lines? What behaviors are you unwilling to accept? Write everything you can imagine and be as descriptive as possible. How do you want to feel when you wake up? Who do you want to be by your side when things are hard? What makes you feel emotionally secure? These things are aspects of our needs. By getting clear on yours, you get closer to true happiness.

2. Acknowledge what makes you happy

Part of identifying our meaning involves finding and acknowledging what makes us happy. That’s not always an easy ask. Our families and society in general hold up a lot of expectations for us. It’s hard to be clear on our joy when we’re always chasing someone else’s. We can’t plug into genuine gratification until we open our arms wide to the things and the people we really need all around us. What makes you happy? Truly? It’s a question we don’t ask ourselves enough.

Acknowledge what makes you happy in life and pursue those things. What activities do you get absorbed in? What makes you happy or provides a sense of reward? The things we lose ourselves in are often a good place to start. So are our interests and the things we find particularly curiosity-invoking.

Stop running from what makes you happy and embrace it instead. The way to a happy future lies in those things that make you buzz with excitement. It’s up to you to find how to weave those things into a destiny you can rely on. You won’t get where you want to be in life by shunning who you are and pursuing the things which don’t add up to growth and transformation. Take a second to step back and look around. What makes you happiest in this world? Make those things the starting point on your path to self-discovery.

3. Get clear on your core values

Values are a central part of connecting with purpose in our lives. Think of your values like the foundation of the life that you’re piecing together. Our values are the basic principles which guide our lives. They encompass our beliefs, our motivations, and even the attitudes we have around everything from work to the relationships and families we build. The success or failures that you find in this life will center on the values you establish for yourself.

Get clear on your core values. What defines you as a person? What do you believe in? What makes you feel good, or like you’re on the right track in life? By getting clear on our core values, we give ourselves a roadmap to a better future. You’ve got to shed attitudes and beliefs that are negative, or that are holding you back.

The best way to do this is by taking an inventory. Take some time with your journal and use the time to quietly focus on the core beliefs that guide the decisions you make in life. How are you feeling about where you’re at? What is your attitude towards life? Towards work? Towards your partner or your family? Get rid of those negative belief points which are keeping you stuck in old patterns and habits of self-defeat and self-loathing. Look to adopt, instead, new beliefs; beliefs and attitudes which encourage you to keep going when things get tough.

Putting it all together…

What is it that you want to do with your life? Figuring out our purpose is an important part of building a future that brings us joy and fulfillment. To do that, though, we have to be honest about who we are and what we want. Do you want better relationships? Do you want more personal success or a renewed sense of passion? You need to get clear on what you want to do with your life, and that comes down to figuring out what your purpose is.

Pinpoint your specific needs and get clear on what you want from your life and the relationships you invest in. Once we know what we need, we can look at what we want and the action we want to take. Acknowledge what makes you happy and pursue it honestly and without fear or embarrassment. Get clear on your core values and know who you are and where your integrity lies. Be honest about your lifestyle too, though. You can want to be a best-selling author or run a major company — but none of that will happen if you don’t have the time and energy to accommodate the work that comes with it. Find the middle ground. Start with your ideal and then look to the life you can’t tolerate. In that middle ground you can find a reality that brings you a lot of happiness in life.

• Schaefer, S., Morozink Boylan, J., van Reekum, C., Lapate, R., Norris, C., Ryff, C., & Davidson, R. (2013). Purpose in Life Predicts Better Emotional Recovery from Negative Stimuli. Plos ONE, 8(11), e80329. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0080329
• Martela, F., & Steger, M. (2016). The three meanings of meaning in life: Distinguishing coherence, purpose, and significance. The Journal Of Positive Psychology, 11(5), 531–545. doi: 10.1080/17439760.2015.1137623

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