Love behind the bars. How emails and TikTok are saving lives in American prisons?

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Penpals have been a huge trend back in the days.

Everything we had to communicate was paper, envelopes, and pens.

I remember having my penpals and the happiness that receiving a new letter from them made me felt.

Nowadays, thanks to the Internet, emails, social media, this old-fashioned and romantic way to express communication has been fading away.

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Until the famous social media TikTok brought it back to the highlights with a new trend: the videos dedicated to having an inmate as a pen pal.

TikTok and the new trend.

You probably never heard of this, and for those who probably don't watch YouTube, I want to tell you why this is a big deal…

TikTok is the biggest video app worldwide: it was created to make short clips in categories specific to mobile phones.

On TikTok, you can create your own videos and use hashtags just as you would do on Instagram.

This allows you to have your videos popping up under that specific category.

If your video will receive a lot of interactions, it will end up on the for you page, where users will be seeing your content.

It's basically YouTube but with a different direction.

This is why TikTok's videos are all about getting interactions.

The reason to use hashtags on TikTok is to show your content to more people, and those people will like your video.

During the pandemic, a lot of people end up being stuck at home and roaming around Google.

They found out it was possible to write to inmates and for them to answer back.

This is where the trend starts I mentioned earlier.

Mama, I am in love with a criminal.

Tens and tens of women; suddenly sharing their experiences of being in love with a prisoner, ending up marrying him, having families, and starting their life together.

All thanks to being penpals.

The biggest slice of the stories featured comes from California.

The hashtag #mamaiminlovewithacriminal has over 47.4 million views, taking inspiration from the sound used to share those videos.

Britney Spears, the singer of the song Criminal was not expecting her track to become the hymn of a new TikTok trend based on falling in love with inmates.

While #writeaprisoner, which takes the name from the website providing the penpal service, has the astonishing number of 252,6 million views.

That is a lot of users interested in knowing how to get in touch with an inmate.

Among the women having a love story with an inmate, the user Henneseay is a brilliant example of this trend.

She has almost one million likes on her story-time video.

The woman, who is in her twenties, made a video of one minute explaining how she jumped on the train of Write a Prisoner just to follow the trend.

Now she is in an official relationship with a man serving in one of the country's prisons.

This user on Youtube, share her experience in a video:

If you google the website name, the most common questions are

• Is it safe?
• How does it work?
• Do I have to pay?

And then the search terms death row.

It means that people are invested in searching for a pen pal serving a life sentence.

On the website, you can check why the inmate is serving, since when and when is the closest release date, if not serving a life sentence.

Down the rabbit hole.

Wedding in a jail.Weddings On Wheels

I dug a little bit deeper into the rabbit hole and found several articles on Quora answering questions about the subject.

It turns out that the website is free for the public to use.

While for the inmates, it has a cost.

Prices for inmates on Write a Prisoner.Write a Prisoner

It means that you can write to prisoners for free.

If the inmate accepts the letter, they can answer back to you and get closer via emails.

Each email is scrutinized by artificial intelligence to avoid forbidden communication or words.

If flagged by the system, it will be analyzed by a human.

As per the safety, there are tons of advice upon this question.

The main thing is to avoid sharing too many personal facts that could be used to manipulate you.

Examples are family, pets, where you work, and similar.

And to be tough on the emotional side: as much as there are people with minor crimes on their backs, there are also inmates serving for homicide and similar crimes.

When it comes to the women who married one of their pen pals, it is very different.

These women have a love story going on, made of presents, moving into the prisoner's house, visiting him, knowing his family, and getting married, very often in the jail where he is serving.

Saving a life.

On the psychological side, it is primary to have support, even just through emails or mail.

The Missouri Department of Corrections stated that

"Two pieces of paper, envelopes, and a pencil are provided to offenders upon arrival so they may correspond with family members and friends. While you may not send any food, clothing, cash, stamps, or other items through the mail, written correspondence is encouraged. Many emotions may be felt at this time, so you must maintain communication and provide support. It is common for new arrivals not to correspond with family or friends initially. They are often depressed and embarrassed. You should continue to write during this time, including your full return address on the envelope. The offenders need to know you still care and are there for them."

I have been collecting a few declarations from former inmates all over the states, and it is heartbreaking.

Here you can read some.

"I'm terribly lonely. Whenever the mailman passes my door, which is often, my heart sinks to new lows." (R.V., Coalinga, CA)

"My friends and family outside of prison have all disappeared. Every day is a struggle to retain an ounce of dignity. I don't seek pity. I ask you to remember that prison is a very lonely place. Having someone willing to listen, confide in, and be an outside source of strength will help to make prison life bearable." (T.C., Shakopee, MN)

"I have literally nothing to look forward to. Please write." (C. R., Corcoran, CA)

So if you are into writing emails, you may look at those websites and maybe change a life with your words.