Merced police officer shot and killed in the line of duty 20 years ago honored in ceremony

Family, friends and first responders gathered at the Merced Police Department on Monday, to honor the late Stephan Gray, a Merced police officer who was shot and killed while on duty in 2004.

The annual ceremony held to honor Gray 20 years after his death, included remarks by Merced Police Chief Steven Stanfield, Michelle Gray, a moment of silence and taps played by Merced Fire Department Engineer Joel Verrinder.

“To the Gray family, the city staff at Merced and our police partners have never forgotten you,” said Stanfield. “They are all here for you and this ceremony is to remember an officer who paid the ultimate sacrifice.”

Michelle Gray addressed those in attendance to honor her late husband.

“As I look out into the crowd I see family and friends and colleagues of Stephan, but I also see quite a few of you who never had the opportunity to meet Stephan,” Gray said. “We appreciate as a family those of you who took the opportunity to be here today and remember and honor him.”

Gray said that as she reflects on the 20 years since Stephan was killed in the line of duty, she things about the moments he missed.

“He has missed out on every middle school, high school and college graduation of all three of our children. He was not there to see Isaiah hit is first home run. He did not get to watch Cameron sign her D-1 volleyball contract, he did not walk Landress down the aisle nor will he ever hold his two grandsons,” Gray said.

“He doesn’t know his awesome son-in-law and he has missed out on every milestone that an amazing and present father, which he was, should have an opportunity to witness.”

It isn’t just the milestones her late husband has missed, but also the little joys in every day life, the good and the bad, the hard conversations and he has missed out on continuing to serve his community with pride and zealousness which he had, said Gray.

“Stephan loved being a police officer and loved being a dad,” Gray said.

Gray said that Stephan would have been frustrated to know that his beloved Dallas Cowboys NFL team still has not made it to the Super Bowl.

“I don’t share these things with you today to make you sad for us, because what I do know is that our family has persevered,” said Gray. “Our children are kind, successful good people and will not let our loss make us less of a family, but stronger. I know that he is super proud of that,” Gray said.

Stephan Gray, who was born in Tulare and joined the Merced Police Department in March of 1997, was 34 years old, when he was shot and killed while chasing Cuitlahuac Tahua “Tao” Rivera, a gang member who took off running from police during a traffic stop on April 15, 2004.

A manhunt ensued and Rivera was eventually captured 17 days later in the Chowchilla area. Rivera was convicted, and remains in custody on death row at San Quentin State Prison.