Coming out at Comet Tavern

Editor's note: “Dance Yourself Clean” is a biweekly column dedicated to reviewing local nightlife establishments through the eyes and sensibilities of an introvert.

This is the final bar from my summer backlog, which can only mean one thing, soon I will have to actually try a new bar again instead of hiding away in my apartment. Fortunately, I have one more week of cowardice before I must face the real world again.

Comet Tavern has been on my list since the very beginning of this column, mostly because I am fascinated by its queer-bar-meets-sports-bar energy. During one of my pride night shenanigans, I finally made it into the hallowed halls.

The sports aspect was completely drowned out by pride partygoers, so I didn’t investigate the strange pairing to its full extent (the Mariners lost to the Guardians that day, so I was honestly happy to ignore any sports motifs). For a pride celebration alone, Comet Tavern was a wonderful stop.

Music selection quality: 1/10

Every time I try to dance, it seems like every DJ is determined to only play 45 seconds of a song before moving on to the next one. There must be some sort of trend in the music community that I don’t understand. I enjoyed every song they played, but I never got the chance to actually dance to one, as once I figured out what I was listening to they were on to the next. Most of them were also played over one continuous (presumably homemade) beat. It was very odd.

Volume level: 7/10

Comet Tavern has two levels, which made escaping the noise much easier for me. When I was on the lower level dance floor, it was unbearably loud. Perhaps the same drumline pounding in my ears for a full hour made it feel louder than it really was. Upstairs however, I was able to hide in the bathroom and have a moment of near silence.

Drink menu variety: 9/10

The bar had an incredibly large selection of spirits for a fairly casual environment. Not only that, but they didn’t make me feel like an idiot for asking if they could do a margarita, which strangely happens more often than one would think. There were also plenty of non-cocktail drinks, as well as non-alcoholic options.

Moscow Mule quality: 8/10

The mule was nearly incredible, but needed just a little bit more ginger to get to a perfect score. The addition of bitters was really exciting, as I find they add a lot of intrigue to the drink without being too overpowering. I wish more places would do that.

Overall prices: 8/10

Any bar that doesn’t charge cover on pride night is a friend of mine. Trying to find a bar that wasn’t asking for at least a $20 entry fee was like going to war, but Comet really pulled through. For an average night, I would say that the drink prices teetered a little close to the expensive side, but I’ve paid $10 for a Moscow mule before, and I am certain I will do it again.

Body contact: 7/10

Because of the event, it was definitely more crowded than a standard evening would have been. Even still, the separate floors made it much easier for me to avoid unwanted body contact. The dance floor was just a bit too much for me.

Temperature: 7/10

The sheer amount of bodies poured into one bar on a summer night certainly spiked the temperature. Knowing that, I think it would have been normal on any other night. In fairness, though, I was wearing very little clothing and still sweating. Something surely could have been done to even things out a bit.

Bathroom: 10/10

I will look for this bathroom in every bar I go to for the rest of my life. A well lit, well cleaned, completely private bathroom in the heart of Capitol Hill is the closest thing we have to heaven. I think about it like an ex every time I close the latch of a disgusting bathroom stall.

Lights: 8/10

Comet has nearly mastered the balance of mood lighting and visibility, especially on the dance floor. There were a few pockets of standing room or tables that had markedly less lighting, but I was generally able to find my way around without a pounding white light over my head.

Overall vibe: 8/10

I wish more than anything my friends and I had just stayed here on pride night. The people were kind, the decorations were homey and welcoming, the music was annoying, but at least I knew the words. And nobody tried to make me dance on a stage.

Final count: 73/100

It was by far the best bar I went to on pride night, and possibly the best I went to this summer. I would love to go back on an average night to figure out the normal vibe, but from what I know, I think I’ll love it.

Reach Arts & Culture Editor Montanna Lovins at arts@dailyuw.com . X: @ montannalovins . Bluesky: @ montannalovins.bsky.social .

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Coming out at Comet Tavern

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