<div>If you haven’t been living under a rock, you’re well aware of the conflict that’s been going on between the Whitman administration and the staff. If you have been living under a rock because it’s all you can afford, understandable. I’ll fill you in on what you missed. Staff and administration have been in the midst of a conflict revolving around who should get paid more of the revenue made by the college: hundreds of people who work hard every day to educate our youths or 10 people doing things sometimes. The staff have argued that, since they’re doing the majority of the work, they should get the majority of the pay. But the admin argues the full revenue of the college was promised to them 3,000 years ago by Marcus Whitman. This culminated in the admin launching missile attacks on Maxey and Olin, using their shares in military tech companies to supply it. My fateful rock dwellers, you are now up to date with the past events. This morning, it was announced that the staff and faculty had finally decided on a way to make both sides happy: dividing the campus into two states! “Memorial building, the Sherwood Center, Reid and Cleveland Commons will all belong to the admin,” said the unbiased 3rd-party-mediator hired by the Admin. “And, everything else will go to the staff.” This extends to the ownership of the different types of revenue. Tuition and board will go to the admin, because they own Cleve and Mem. Printing money will also go the admin because that’s processed through the finance office in Mem. The bookstore is in Reid, so its profit will go to the admin as well, naturally. That’s the straight forward part. As for the more complicated things, such as the vending machines, that revenue will go towards admin because the contracts with the vendors are through Mem’s finance office. All in all, both sides seem pretty happy with this. “We’re so grateful!” one of the staff said, sporting a stylish red dot on their chest. </div>

Block Source: whitmanwire.com

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If you haven’t been living under a rock, you’re well aware of the conflict that’s been going on between the Whitman administration and the staff. If you have been living under a rock because it’s all you can afford, understandable. I’ll fill you in on what you missed.

Admin and Staff decide on Two-State Solution

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If you haven’t been living under a rock, you’re well aware of the conflict that’s been going on between the Whitman administration and the staff. If you ha

Admin and Staff decide on Two-State Solution

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