We learn A LOT of things about real life from movies and TV, whether we mean to or not. And since a big chunk of the media we consume is about relationships, we're bound to pick up a few things about sex and love. But, since film and television are, for the most part, fictional, a lot of what we're being taught isn't exactly accurate...or even normal.
Recently, on the AskReddit subreddit, u/dwightanddilbert posed the question, "What’s the biggest lie pop culture taught us about sex and romance?" And the responses came pouring in. Here are just a few of the best responses:
1. "That men always want sex. I started dating someone new recently, and he goes a little slower in that regard than I do. It’s been an adjustment for me because media tells us that men should want to [have sex with us] immediately."
2. "That your ex will regret breaking up with you and fight for you when you start dating another person. Nope."
3. "If you don't have sex while you're a teenager, you're an unlovable loser."
"As someone who never dated as a teen, this did a number on my mental health and social skills."
4. "If you're a stalker, they'll eventually give you a chance."
"In real life, persistence usually isn't romantic. It's usually creepy."
5. "The whole soulmate ideology."
6. "That your first time is gonna be this religious experience and you’ll immediately connect with someone. Good sex usually requires practice and good communication."
"In actuality, first time sex is like the first time you try swimming, the first time you try rollerblades, or the first time you try skiing. In short: It'll probably be clumsy or awkward."
7. "That you can't be happy while being single, and it's better to work hard for a so-so — or even bad — relationship than to be single."
"Many of my friends and coworkers pity me when they hear how long I've been single. I stopped sharing it just to avoid pointless drama. I do wish we would teach people it's okay to be alone if you haven't met the right person. Settling or putting up with abuse or toxicity just for sex and some dates? NOT worth it."
8. "That a girlfriend is your reward for doing good, and it's probably the girl you've been pining for for some time."
9. "No one has bad breath in the morning."
"I gag when I see people in movies tongue-kissing in bed in the morning."
10. "That sex and romance are the most important things in life."
11. "That it's weird and abnormal to not want sex or to be in a relationship. Aro [aromantic] and ace [asexual] people just need the right person to come along."
12. "That only conventionally attractive people have sex."
13. "If a woman doesn’t want to kiss you, kiss her anyway, and she’ll eventually stop resisting."
14. "Men are the imparters of sexual wisdom and pleasure, and women are the recipients of their knowledge and pleasure-giving."
15. "That we’re supposed to have long sex sessions. Honestly, a good 15-20 minutes is pretty good for me."
"That the longer a man lasts, the better. I need [it] to be done in, like, 10 minutes or I’m oooooover it."
16. "Sitcoms told me I can have a new girlfriend every month just by saying hello to someone at a coffee shop, that two weeks is a long time to go without a date, and that we should break up for trivial reasons."
17. "The idea that love triumphs over everything, and with it, you will overcome all difficulties. In reality, love is not a magic bullet, and love is not enough. Incompatibilities still exist. If someone I loved came out one day and said they were actually a neo-nazi, love cannot fix that, and I would not stay with them."
18. "That 'toxic' and 'unhealthy' turns to 'soulmates' and 'happily ever after.'"
19. And finally, "That it’s fine for adults to be attracted to teenagers."
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.