I have to sacrifice showers to feed my son & I haven’t shaved my legs in months – I’m too embarrassed to leave the house

LIKE most mums Bryony Maynard’s priority is keeping her two-year-old son fed, clean and warm. 

But in doing so, she’s had to skip showers, dilute hair products with water and purchase cheap men’s razors, which irritate her skin.

The mum, who is unemployed due to the rising cost in childcare, relies on her partner’s income as a supervisor at a wholesale company, as well as £400 a month Universal Credit, to support her family.

But Bryony, 28, admits she struggles to make ends meet on their low income, and has taken extreme steps to try and save as much as possible.

The mum-of-one says, “I go without toiletries to save money for my son, but cutbacks affect my confidence and the way I perceive myself.

“Being unable to work makes me feel like I can’t support my family and, in turn, like I’m not a good enough parent. 

“If I were to have a job interview, I’d want to look as presentable as possible, which is difficult when struggling to afford basic products. 

“Even though my son is healthy and happy, in my darkest moments, I feel guilty I’m not giving him the best he deserves.”

Bryony is not alone. 

Lizzy James*, 31, lives in Norfolk with her husband David and has two children says that she experienced a similar issue when she became a mum.

She explains:  “When I was 23, I left home to live with David. 

“We thought we could afford it but didn’t realise how much the bills would mount up. 

And then I fell pregnant and suffered from severe morning sickness, so was on statutory sick pay. We had no money to spare for toiletries and it was so demoralising. 

“We were too embarrassed to tell our friends and family. Instead, we’d pretend our boiler had broken and ask if we could use their shower, but in reality we wanted to use their toiletries. 

“We’d also go into pubs, ask to use their loo and pinch their toilet paper. 

“It carried on for around two years, before we moved back in with David’s parents to get ourselves straight again. 

I go without toiletries to save money for my son

Bryony Maynard

“It had a huge effect on us and now we’ve become almost like hoarders. 

“We panic if we don’t have at least one package of unopened loo paper and spare shampoo, conditioners and toothpaste, because we know only too well how disheartening it can be.”

A recent report from charity The Hygiene Bank found hygiene poverty – the inability to afford everyday hygiene and grooming products – affects over 3 million adults in the UK.

Ruth Crock, CEO of The Hygiene Bank, explains, “These millions of people – who are just like you and I – are unable to afford basics like toothpaste, laundry detergent and period products. 

“This has a profound effect on people’s health and wellbeing and stops them from fully participating in society.

“This number is likely to rise dramatically in the coming months, as we move deeper into the cost-of-living emergency.”

Millions of people – who are just like you and I – are unable to afford basics like toothpaste, laundry detergent and period products

Ruth Crock, CEO of The Hygiene Bank

Bryony hasn’t always lived in hygiene poverty. 

Prior to the birth of her son in 2020, she worked full-time in childcare. But after finding out she was pregnant, she quit her job and relocated to West Sussex with her partner, to be closer to family.

Bryony recalls, “When my son was 15 months old, we decided to send him to nursery so I could go back to work. 

“But just eight hours a week cost £200 a month, which was all we could afford. Unfortunately, I’ve been unable to find a job that would hire me on those hours, and we’re not able to ask family members to care for him.”

To cut costs, Bryony has often been forced to go without.

She says, “I buy the cheapest sanitary products available, but the quality is not great. 

“I also use men’s razors because they’re sharper and can be used by both me and my partner.

“However, they dry out my skin and exacerbate my psoriasis.

“Now, I go without shaving my legs, so in the summer I’d cover up in jeans during the heatwaves. 

I go without shaving my legs, so in the summer I’d cover up in jeans during the heatwaves

Bryony Maynard

“Not being able to afford basic self-care started affecting my mental health.”

And with household bills also on the increase, Bryony is conscious of saving water, so she often skips showers to give her son and partner priority.

She admits, “As I’m in the house all day, I try not to use it unless I’m desperate, but that can make me feel uncomfortable and too self-conscious to go out, which makes me feel low.

“When I do shower, if I’m running out of products, I dilute my conditioner with water.”

Thankfully, help is out there. 

Bryony first encountered The Hygiene Bank at her son’s nursery, where free products were available to take. 

She says, “The first time, I grabbed some toothpaste and sanitary towels, which really helped take the pressure off. It’s a great comfort knowing it’s there.”

However, Bryony worries about the future. 

She admits, “I want to return to work for my mental health, not just to earn money for my family, as I feel lonely at home without adult company – but it just isn’t possible at the moment.”

Bryony adds, “Accepting support from The Hygiene Bank has really helped my self-esteem. 

“People can feel embarrassed to admit they’re struggling, but there is no shame in asking for help. 

“There are no criteria for who can access food or hygiene banks, so if you need support, ask.”

*Name has been changed

You can donate to The Hygiene Bank and find out where you can find your nearest one here.