A husband has been slammed online for expecting his stepdaughter to clean up his mess.
In a viral post, u/Educational_Bonus838 explained that her daughter has returned to the family home to study for her college finals. But she has been disturbed on multiple occasions by her stepdad asking her to tidy up after him.
"Lately, my daughter complained that my husband would put her to work, in disregard of the fact that she's learning. She would stay in her room to study and at some point, [my] husband would knock saying "Hey, I just had lunch, could you please clean up the table? I'm starting a meeting." Or "I spilled some water, mind wiping it, I gotta focus on work!"
"She told me she feels like he doesn't care about her learning time and he doesn't acknowledge she is also working."
In 2019, the U.S Census Bureau revealed 4 million men live with the children of a spouse or partner and 1.8 million of those haven't got any biological children.
The data suggests men who live with children aged 0-5 were less likely to be identified as a stepfather to those living with children aged 12-17.
She explained her husband and daughter's relationship: "There's respect, understanding, and trust on each other's part. I don't know if there's love, but I can't push it. Husband met [my] daughter too late to represent a father figure for her."
The Redditor told her daughter not to clean up his mess and explained she returned from the office to a dirty table.
"I asked [my] husband about it and he said, "Well [Daughter] should've cleaned it up!" [My] daughter said she didn't even [have] lunch today (they don't always eat together, sometimes one is hungry and one is not) and she didn't have time to clean up the table. I jumped at my husband, telling him [my] daughter has exams and came here to learn, not to clean up after him," she wrote.
The husband went on to "defend himself" by stating he had an urgent meeting. The mom concluded the lengthy post by stating she told both to clean up after themselves.
Newsweek reached out to Dennis Poncher, a parenting expert, about the viral thread that has over 15,000 upvotes.
Like thousands of Redditors, Poncher backed the mom and stated he would have offered the same solution to the "clean-up" issue.
"Establishing a house rule that everyone cleans up after themselves, as the mother/wife did in this case, is a good way to diffuse future arguments about housecleaning chores," told Poncher, the author of Daddy, I'm Pregnant: A Single Father's Journey.
"One of the first things we ask parents to do is to write out a list of rules for your home. These rules, which apply to everyone in the home, will be what you are comfortable with.
"It's important because even though we think we are clear when talking to our children, they usually do not hear what we think we are saying. In this particular case, written, clear guidelines would likely have been very helpful so that everyone in the household is on the same page regarding what is, or isn't acceptable behavior," said Poncher, the founder and director of parent and youth support groups Because I Love You.
Over 2,000 Redditors have commented on the post since it was shared on February 1.
The top comment has received 26,500 upvotes, it said: "Wow NTA your husband is being very sexist and entitled. Why should your daughter clean up HIS mess[?] That's crazy!!"
"Sounds like he has horrible (or excellent) time management skills if he can always just finish eating but just doesn't have the time to clean up after himself before his important meetings," said another.
Another user said: "The knocking and THE WATER just kill me! He actually knocks on her door every time to come clean the mess he has made! AND WIPE HIS SPILT WATER?! Is it me or does this remind anyone else of toddlers yelling for their mother to come wash them after they've pooped?"
Newsweek couldn't verify the details of the case as u/Educational_Bonus838 account has been suspended.
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