A Single Practice to Transform and Potentially Extend Life

I have a confession: I once was a human “doing.”

For decades, I worked in all-consuming leadership roles, and I was convinced not one came with an off switch. A self-imposed to-do list lived in my head and would breed as I slept. My family's needs clearly topped the list followed by work. But add to that, I often volunteered as room mother, wrote the school’s column for the local paper, and created layers of enchanting birthday and holiday traditions to which I was beholden. I was a voracious reader, prolific baker, jewelry maker, and poetry curator. I also took the dog to the vet.

I lived happily in a vibrant vortex of activities, each one singularly affirming and meaningful. But a few years ago, as I began writing a book on happiness and purpose, I asked myself: Am I sufficiently savoring my life? I began to wonder: How do I become more of a human being rather than a human doing?

Which are you?

Do you relish life, find it balanced and rewarding? Do you deeply inhale experiences, live fully in the present, and savor moments spent both alone and with others? Do you seek out moments that infuse your life with wonder and awe?

Or.

Are you easily distracted and weighed down by self-imposed tasks that you rush through as your mind rehashes the past and worries about a future that hasn’t yet arrived?

In short, are you more like the Greek goddess Pasithea who personified rest, calm, and relaxation, or do you identify with the mythical Sisyphus who pushed a giant boulder up a hill for all eternity?

If the latter, you may be a human doing. If so, rest assured you are not alone.

It is reported that 94 percent of professionals work more than 50 hours a week with most spending an additional 20 to 25 hours a week monitoring their smartphones. Even when they’re not ringing or vibrating, 67 percent of users check their phones out of habit, and six in 10 surveyed report they can’t cope with being separated from them for more than a day.

A Harvard Business Review study found a meaningful shift over the last century in how individuals signaled a higher social standing. In the past, one’s social standing depended upon the degree of leisure in one’s life. Today, the shift has been dramatic with most signaling their higher social standing by boasting of being overworked and busy. The fictional Violet Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham in the show Downton Abbey well captured this shift when her circa 1912 character asked with puzzlement, “What is a ‘weekend?’”

There are many ways to create positive change in one's life. I created a clearing to allow for possibilities. I asked myself what constitutes a successful life, living as a human doing or human being. I then took a measure of how I am organizing my days and began to slash and burn my to-do list. I unshackled myself from being overscheduled to allow the opportunity for the unexpected, with time to explore and enjoy life as circumstances present.

Here’s what also worked for me: I learned to meditate. When my co-author and friend advised meditation in response to my being perpetually overwhelmed, initially I resisted. Will adding more to my to-do list give me more time?

Yet the change was astounding. I learned mantra meditation from my co-author's wife, a physician, and a gifted teacher. My mind quieted. My thoughts came into sharp focus, pushing the litter of random, disruptive noise into the abyss. I no longer experienced what Buddhists called monkey mind, where my thoughts would flit like a monkey lurching from branch to branch, always moving. I began to pay attention to my intuition, that feeling in our gut that should guide all of our decisions, not the least of which is how to spend our time.

Recent studies have shown that meditation, like yoga, provides an abundance of physiological benefits. For example, it has been found to lower blood pressure and slow the breathing rate. It improves sleep and boosts immunity by lessening stress.

Notably, mediation also has been shown to increase telomere length. Telomeres are the little endcaps on our chromosomes that serve a protective function so that when cells replicate, they continue to do so free of error. Elizabeth Blackburn, who was awarded the 2009 Nobel Prize in Physiology of Medicine, remarkably demonstrated that the longer the telomeres, the longer the lifespan.

Beyond this, Harvard University researcher Sara Lazar published a ground-breaking study that showed the practice of meditation produces measurable differences in the brain. After only two weeks of practice, participants demonstrated enhanced brain activity in regions that are known to be involved in attention, memory, and emotion.

The research is clear. Not only are there immeasurable health benefits, but also meditation is a surefire strategy to be more present in your life and to be more present for the people in your life.

No one understands the importance of being present more than those in hospice. Bonnie Ware, an Australian hospice nurse learned that as people lay dying their greatest regret was how they had chosen to spend the days of their life. They reportedly said: I wish I had acted on what I wanted rather than what I thought I should do. I wish I had expressed my feelings. I wished I had stayed in touch with people who mattered. I wish I had let myself be happier. Finally and most importantly, I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

There is always time to be present in your life. Until there’s not.

As the Buddha wisely counseled, “The trouble is, you think you have time.” Perhaps this moment is the very best time to begin your transformation from human doing to human being.