Welch: Cow loading - an exercise in whole-self engagement
Dance and martial arts for the elderly? AARP wants me to register for online classes every Tuesday through March 7. The routine “engages the whole self in gentle movement.”
Gentle martial arts? Don’t sharp and decisive moves characterize that discipline? Chop, chop.
What do I know, having watched only snippets of movies starring martial artists? Do Jason Bourne movies count? I’ve seen some.
“Bourne again?” I ask my husband. Then I watch. I like those glamourous settings, Berlin or wherever.
Meanwhile, why does the dance and martial arts series end in March? Because nobody keeps New Year’s resolutions to exercise any longer. We get bored. We quit.
To fight that boredom, you can pretend you’re winning a martial arts battle while dancing in a Broadway musical. That’s my spin on the AARP promo.
Loading cattle is definitely not boring
But if you’re stuck on the farm with a dismal Internet connection, forget it. Back the stock trailer into place at the corral and load cattle instead.
Cattle loading for the elderly. It’s a non-boring exercise with real purpose. Unless you just pretend you’re loading cattle. Sometimes we just pretend.
My husband and I actually loaded a few head yesterday. In work clothes and boots, he looked askance at my footwear – minimal little shoes much like ballet slippers, better for the gym than the cow lot. I told him I’d chosen them because they’re good for climbing the corral fence, if not the best for stepping in manure. Sometimes you gotta climb fast.
They’re good little running shoes too. As things turned out I didn’t have to run from the bull, but I did dash for more feed cubes. Twice.
Loading cattle gets your heart rate up. It doesn’t matter if you’re running or scaling a corral panel or just watching someone else tempt fate or scramble out of harm’s way. Pulses quicken.
Then, as exercise goes, when it’s over you feel good, assuming you have survived, ideally unscathed.
Minor scrapes are badges of honor
Me, I got a splinter from the big block of wood I used to beat the trailer hitch into submission. Better than suffering a sprained ankle from a crazy Kung Fu dance move gone wrong. My opinion.
Little scrapes are badges of honor as long as you manage to load whatever into the trailer.
In our case, whatever included the bull. He was acting like he wanted to dance – like maybe the tango. Or maybe stomp a sombrero. He got loaded. Whew!
Too tired to notice the aches and pains
We slept well last night post-exercise, too tired to be bothered by any aches or strains.
I’m guessing son Ryan slept well too. He came up from Dallas to help. Big and strong, he did the hardest work, specifically manning the swing gate that squeezes the unruliest of beasts into such a small amount of space that they definitively, albeit reluctantly, go into the trailer after they’ve tried escaping every way possible.
Ryan probably drifted off feeling good about helping the elderly load cattle. I’m guessing he slept well too. If he didn’t, he should have.
