Families are full of random useless advice and mine especially so.
My great-grandfather counselled against rock fishing. “Those whom the gods seek to destroy first turn to rock fishing.”
Not applicable.
My grandmother had warnings when choosing life partners. “Never trust a man with a middle part. Or a black hat.”
Outdated, if not prejudicial.
A fashionable friend had clothing advice. “Never wear stripes on your arse.”
So I was slightly relieved when I moved to a farm that my husband didn’t have much advice for me. He is a sink or swim type of person.
One of the only scraps he offered was “always check your own girth strap”.
A girth strap, for non-horsey people, is the belt that holds the saddle to the horse. In people, it might hold your trousers up, or separate the bottom and the top half of you, depending on what you need it for.
The Farmer™, as he is known, underlined early on in my unspectacular horse riding career that I should always check my own girth strap.
He got the advice from a 100-year-old cowgirl interviewed in the pages of a newspaper and soon adopted it as his own. She seemed like someone who had earned the right to give advice.
Besides, it was absolutely true that if I did not check my own girth strap, my saddle could roll. In that situation, I could come a gutser (“fall off” in the local parlance) and then look for others to blame.
So when our daughter grew up with my horse addiction, she was offered the same advice by her father. One day, while riding at her friend’s place, her saddle did begin to roll on her friend’s enthusiastic pony. As she slid around the Appaloosa’s belly, the first thing that came to mind was “I didn’t check my own girth strap”.
She fell off.
But my husband wasn’t just using girth strap checking as equine advice.
It served to underline personal responsibility for our own predicaments. Complaining about the reading on the bathroom scales or health in general? Check your own girth strap! (Ferme la bouche!) Struggling with your tax return or your life admin in general? Check your own girth strap! (Do it yourself!) Underpants falling down? Check your own girth strap.
I have yet to live by it consistently but that’s the challenge, right?
By the way, our daughter was unhurt by the fall. But she has never forgotten the advice. And nor will I.