Skip To Content

    21 Former People Pleasers Are Sharing The Dumbest Thing They've Done For Someone, And Shocked Is An Understatement

    "The night after giving birth I gave my ex-husband the hospital bed."

    Establishing boundaries in your life is super important, especially if you struggle with being a people pleaser.

    Reddit user u/emmistan recently asked, "What is the dumbest thing you have done as a people pleaser?" Here are a few wild answers:

    1. "The night after giving birth I gave my ex-husband the hospital bed because he was complaining nonstop about how uncomfortable he was in the chair."

    u/rupret1

    2. "I said that it was alright when my ex forgot about my birthday. I told him I don’t like my birthday anyway so he’d feel less guilty for forgetting."

    Birthday cake

    3. "I gave birth on the floor because I didn’t want to push my husband or the midwives into taking my pain seriously, stupidly assuming they would know what to do and they would take care of me. I kept saying I’ve got a lot of pain in my back and they kept saying, 'Yes yes, it’s just early signs you’ve got plenty of time to go.' And my bloody stupid husband just kept asking me what he should do."

    u/TermAggravating8043

    4. "Took out a loan for my boyfriend because I 'supported' him and his business dreams. His credit was awful so he'd asked me to help him and sign the papers, promising he'd make all the payments. You can imagine how that turned out."

    Woman paying a loan and looking at a bill

    5. "Going to all of those Mary Kay, Avon, and other MLM parties. It was a huge waste of my time and money just because I couldn't say no to the invitations."

    u/NSH-43

    6. "I dated a guy six years too long, like all six of them we were together."

    u/IncomeOk413

    7. "When creepy guys talk to me on the bus or anywhere, I’m always polite and friendly and reply to them, and I tell myself to say fuck off but I just can’t ever do it I can’t be rude. I hate myself for it."

    u/Melodic_Substance

    8. "Years ago, I apologized to my roommate who read my diary and confronted me when she read some not-nice things I had written about her. I didn’t even get mad that she had read my diary. I was just mortified that someone would know that I had said mean things about them. In my defense — she was A LOT."

    Diary notebook on bed

    9. "I stayed at a job I hated for WAY too long, because I was afraid if I quit, my boss would hate me."

    u/KnockMeYourLobes

    10. "I studied a four-year career to please my mom, and didn't receive the appreciation or love that I expected."

    u/pettybettyluv

    11. "I offered to loan my brand-new car for a day, uninsured for another driver, to an acquaintance — not even a friend — who needed to drive for a job interview. He had crashed his own car the week prior. However, I did need my car that day myself."

    u/Marawal

    12. "I like creamy peanut butter. My (now ex) husband liked chunky. When I went shopping, I bought the chunky. It was fine, I didn’t not like it, so I still ate it, but I preferred creamy. It wasn’t until after we divorced and I went grocery shopping for the first time without him in my house that I bought a jar of creamy peanut butter. And I wondered why the hell I didn’t just buy both kinds before. It’s $3 a jar and doesn’t go bad quickly. That’s when I realized I did that with so many things. I call it my Peanut Butter Epiphany."

    Peanut butter and jelly jar

    13. "I've got a good one — got bitten by a snake and ended up in hospital for three days. My family and I were camping and I was barefoot and accidentally stepped on a snake and it bit me. My dad was nearby but in a deep conversation with some fellow campers and I didn't want to be rude and interrupt. So I walked about 300 meters back to my campsite where my mom was to tell her I'd been bitten and probably should go to the hospital if it wasn't too much trouble!"

    Snake

    14. "I straightened my natural beautiful curly hair because the girls in my school said I would look prettier with straight hair. My hair has never been the same."

    u/Euphoric_Feeling_272

    15. "I played clarinet for 11 years to please my parents. I hated every second of it."

    u/nomilovesdrama

    16. "I had just started a new job and was pressured into leading a team for a holiday charity project where you get assigned a family in need, then the team works to raise money to buy the things on their wish list. I was already drowning from my workload and my colleague who I shared it with was leaving. But I wanted to make a good impression that I was a 'team player.' Big mistake. A useless team meant I did all the work. Then I got reprimanded by my boss for my work falling behind (the work I was now doing for two people). I would wake up in the middle of the night and immediately get stressed out for what lay ahead of me the next day. It was horrible and I won't go through it ever again."

    u/smitty4728

    17. "I had gotten a tattoo I hated because my tattoo artist thought it was sick and I couldn’t tell him I wasn’t into it."

    Giving a tattoo

    18. "I didn’t go on a single camping trip or hike in the summertime for two goddamn years at my former job because we were short-staffed. I LOVE camping and hiking, and I live for summer. Needless to say, I now have boundaries."

    u/wixkedwitxh

    19. "I agreed to sell goulash at a Christmas market for a club I wasn't even a member of for three weekends in a row. I'd never been that cold in my life."

    u/inveraveritas

    20. "I gave away my comfortable position in a great environment to please my mother by switching to a higher position at a toxic workplace, one that damaged my mental health severely in only a few weeks, because of money. My family tried to convince me to stay. I'm jobless now and trying my best to get another job away from here."

    u/alovernotafighterLC

    21. "I continued paying my ex’s school tuition after he ended our relationship."

    u/lenaacarterr

    If you're a former people pleaser, what's the wildest thing you remember doing for someone else? Tell me in the comments.