Woman Praised for Refusing To Go to Stepson's Wedding: 'Not Wanted'

The internet has backed a woman for refusing to go to her stepson's wedding after the way she was treated.

In a post on Reddit's popular r/AmITheA****** on December 2, user u/AnRiceRun shared the story which has received over 8,000 upvotes and more than 1.5k comments.

"My stepson is due to get married. He told my husband our kids were not invited since it was a child-free wedding. But then he told me what I could not wear—because the two mothers were going to match the theme and I am not counted in that—that I would not be given a corsage to wear so people would know I was not one of the parents," said the poster on Reddit. "He said I would not be mentioned in any of the toasts, I was not welcome to give a toast, that the photos with the parents and immediate family would not include me and after my husband asked him why he was making such a big deal out of this, he said I needed to know my place and then admitted he didn't even want me there."

Jean Neuhart, a wedding planner and consultant at Weddings From The Heart company in Ohio, told Newsweek: "Weddings can bring out the best and the worst in people. While they can also be a time for mending fences, it may not be the best time to try to do so."

Explaining the background of the family relationship, u/AnRiceRun said: "I have been married to my husband for 25 years. He has two children from his first marriage, Kai who is 28, and Mia who is 27. My husband's first marriage ended during the pregnancy with Mia when his ex moved another man into their home. I met him 6 months later and we married after a year together."

She explained how her husband's ex had "made our lives hell" in the post and said: "She alienated the kids from me, we were in and out of court, therapy, they were always placed in mediation and co-parenting classes to try and get them to a better place. Nothing helped."

The couple also has their own children, but the relationship with her stepkids has always been strained.

"My relationship with my stepkids breaks my heart," she said. "I love them, I have always tried to be a respectful and loving stepparent who doesn't talk bad about their mom, overstep my place, or assume they would love me the same as their parents."

When her stepson told her that he did not want her at his wedding, the poster was understandably upset and made the decision to stay home with her children instead.

Neuhart explained: "Tensions can arise when one has been "pushed aside" (whether in reality or imagines so) for the new partner and the family dynamic has been broken. There may be feelings of 'competition,' where the stepparent—or the other parent—feel that they have to outdo the other, or try to 'keep up,' and show that they are just as good."

"I have reached a breaking point where I just no longer see a future where we might get along better and clearly, I am not wanted at all," said the stepmom. "But my husband's family are furious and say I was invited so I should go."

On Reddit, users rushed to share their reactions to the argument and overwhelmingly supported the poster.

"Don't go," said one commenter. "I would tell husband's family that it was an invitation in name only. Stepson has actually made clear specifically that he'd really prefer I not attend. I will honor that request."

Another Redditor wrote: "If you don't feel welcome, objectively, that is justifiable. Your stepson's mind has been poisoned by his mother's bitterness."

"Not only should you not go, you should hire a pack of wild clowns to show up during the ceremony," joked another reply.

When it came to advice for the stepmom, Neuhart suggested she do one of two things: "Attend as if she were just another guest, not as a parent, or stay home with a good book, watch a movie or do an activity she enjoys."

Newsweek reached out to u/AnRiceRun for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.