Hoof Beats: About that bucket list

If you’re a country music fan, you probably know the Tim McGraw song “Live Like You Were Dying.” The chorus goes like this: “I went skydiving/ I went Rocky Mountain climbing/ I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu ...” If you’re a woman facing a similar future, your wish list probably doesn’t include bull riding. Or skydiving. And if you’re a smart woman, your first move will be to go on a long, luxurious, relaxing cruise, the perfect time to figure out what else is on your bucket list. The term comes from the 2007 film of the same name, and is a riff on the expression “kick the bucket,” which describes somebody who is no longer among the living.  

I’ve known a few people who drew up a bucket list when they retired. Both men and women seem to favor experiences that lie outside their normal, boring, day-to-day lives. A woman I met in California — let’s call her Phoebe — decided that as soon as she retired, she was going to fulfill a childhood dream and buy herself a horse. When I met her — I was boarding Boo at the same stable — she was in her early 70s. She would arrive around noon and sit at one of the picnic tables so she could watch other people riding their horses while she ate lunch. Then she would saddle Fala, her pretty Paint mare, lead her to a mounting block, and climb on.

Fala had been beautifully trained. She was patient, never trying to move away while her elderly owner hauled herself into the saddle. The two of them usually headed up the hill to an arena large enough to hold a basketball tournament in, with a gate. As they approached it, Fala would side-pass right up to the gate so Phoebe could lean down, undo the latch, and push the gate open wide enough to let them though. One bright fall day Phoebe and I rode around the ring together. Fala walked. Boo jogged. Fala never once tried to move into a faster gait, and Phoebe rode her on a loose rein. This steady, reliable mare and her aging, overweight rider personified the rest of Tim McGraw’s song: “And I lived deeper/ And I spoke sweeter/ and I gave forgiveness I’d been denying/  … I hope you get the chance/ to live like you were dying.”

If I had a bucket list, and buying and riding my own horse was the first thing on it, I’d prepare a little more than Phoebe did. When they retire at 65, most people still have their balance and a reasonable amount of upper-body strength. But riding exercise your inner thigh muscles like few other sports. You may want to go a gym for a few weeks to help you get in shape. If that’s too strenuous — or expensive — try yoga. You’ve heard the expression “use it or lose it”? Sad to say, it’s true. My husband and I arrived in Colorado about the same time Covid 19 did, and I had to retrain those old, tired muscles before I felt safe riding Boo again. The better your balance and physical strength are, the easier it will be to ride with confidence.

Here are some specific suggestions. First, visit every boarding stable near you — your horse needs someplace to live. Second, find the stable manager, tell her what you want: to lease a nice, steady horse for a couple of months, especially if the horse is for sale, and take some lessons. Three, be realistic. Do you enjoy riding? A horse is a big investment, emotionally and financially — and a horse isn’t a cat. You can’t open the back door and let him out at night. After a month or so of easy trail rides, maybe you like the riding part but you’re not in love with the horse. Tell the manager and your lesson giver. When you do find your dream horse — kind, patient, with no bad habits — arrange for a pre-purchase exam by a veterinarian who has no affiliation with the lesson-giver or the stable. After you buy your dream horse, talk to a lawyer. No, you’re not suing anybody. You’re making a will, and that includes providing for your horse when it’s your turn to kick the bucket. This usually involves setting some money aside, and asking a trusted friend to find a horse lover who will take care of your horse — using your money — for the rest of his life. He brought you joy in your retirement. You owe him the same.    

Joan Fry is a lifelong horse lover and the author of “Backyard Horsekeeping: The Only Guide You’ Ever Need” (The Lyons Press, Revised Edition, 2007). She can be reached via email at joan@joanfry.com.