3 Steps to Grasp the Meaning of First Memories

Maybe it's because like Bill Murray, Groundhog Day brings hope that I'll finally get it right. Or maybe it's the irony that such a trivial holiday can celebrate what's most needed in our technology-addled world, a reminder that no matter how hard we try, we can't escape nature. You never know. For me, it may just be a poignant anniversary of the day I remember waiting in Memorial Sloan Kettering, hoping and praying that the shadows wouldn't appear again on my mother's latest cancer scans.

There’s no timeline for grieving. Losing someone you care about changes a person fundamentally. It's OK to "oscillate" between facing grief head-on and taking a break at times. People often ask me, "Will my grief ever end?" The answer is yes, but it will most likely change you forever,...

Procrastination is a tool that people use to feel good and avoid pain. Avoidance of pain through procrastination is ultimately harmful as it reduces resilience and keeps an individual stuck in procrastination loops. To address procrastination, one must look at the root emotions beneath the surface, rather than focus on...

Living single can be such a vastly different experience for different people. At one end are the people who are distraught to be single and often invest heavily in becoming coupled. At the other end are the "single at heart"—people for whom single life is their best life—their most authentic, meaningful, fulfilling, and psychologically rich life. The single at heart are not settling for being single—they are embracing it. In single life, they flourish.

Scientists are on their way to developing the capacity to create “designer babies." The ethics of “special ordering” children have yet to be addressed. Parenting will take on new complexities should we become able to dictate children’s attributes and skill sets. Genetically modified children may experience...

Grief takes as long as it takes; there are no shortcuts. It is a good idea to talk with someone you trust when you are hurting. It helps to accept that whatever you think, feel, or do is part of a new normal, at least for now. Experiencing a loss...

Prolonged Grief Disorder is a new DSM diagnosis for grief lasting longer than 1 year. It's OK to mourn; grief helps us recognize the preciousness of each moment. Grief affects family members differently, and it's important to respect how others grieve. As a psychotherapist, I’ve often worked with clients who...

We construct a mental self-image on the basis of how other people treat us and how we differ from other people. Feelings of self-esteem are based on the value of one’s personal identity plus the combined value of one’s many social identities. This post is Part 1 of...

Romanticized success can drive unhealthy behaviors that contribute to burnout. Science shows we can shift behavior to protect our well-being through practices such as mindfulness and intermittent technology fasts. Hustle and grind culture is the new religion. Bursting at the seams, to-do lists and schedules are normalized. Messages flood our...

The power of social suggestion and groupthink can make you believe that you're ill. Mass hysteria is partially the result of groupthink and social psychology. The more similar you and your friends are, the more susceptible you are to peer influence. Being in a group can squash your independence, creativity,...

There is one simple and powerful journaling technique that you can do for ten minutes a day that will not only improve your daily life but offer you a strong foundation of self-care on which you can build larger life changes: the self-talk journal. This self-talk approach has a simple structure designed to connect your mindsets and make you aware of the different parts that make up who you are.

Sometimes, people don't want help, but their families do. Family members can learn skills to communicate more effectively with adolescents about issues from suicidal thinking to college applications. We can't control other people's behavior, but we can help them make good decisions by showing curiosity and respect. In my final...

Conflict analysis and management isn't the only approach. It tends to ignore the physical body, leaving many people "stuck." Many cultures use rituals to help conflicted parties get back in sync and embody improved relationships. One way that rituals work is through dissolving the sense of self and applying constructive...

Be willing to accept and adapt when you fumble or misjudge in your choices. Use introspection to your advantage to reflect mindfully from different lenses. Seek to increase your number of alternatives to a reasonable, but not infinite, level and choose action over inaction when you are in doubt. If...

A highly relational person (HRP) is highly tuned in and reactive to relational dynamics and invested in maintaining relational connection. HRPs can find comfort and strength simply knowing that there are others like them. If you’re an HRP, when you hone your relational gift and cultivate relational skills, it can...

Feelings of excitement will give you the energy necessary to project the slightly bigger-than-life persona you need. The mental exercise required to recall an emotion has the added benefit of making you forget your nerves. Use deep breathing to various forms of meditation to maintain your calm. Is stress bad...

Around 42 percent of Americans "actively avoid the news at least some of the time." Research shows that different ways of engaging with the news can be either harmful to our mental health or empowering. By assuming detached engagement, we can strive to be invested in what’s going on in...

When one chooses the path of meditation to heal psychologically and spiritually, one forgets at times about feelings like compassion and forgiveness. One might even forget about the attitudes of kindness, generosity, and gratitude. When people meditate, they might experience feelings of ease, well-being, and lucidity. I have experienced these meditative states as beautiful and comforting. However, even though the practice of meditation allows a person to experience positive states, they need to support human, everyday living, rather than encourage escaping from what is difficult to face.

How changes over time in two types of narcissistic traits are related to changes in relationship satisfaction. Increases in narcissistic rivalry, a defensive and antagonistic trait, were related to declines in relationship satisfaction. Here are several ways to interpret these research findings. It is well-documented that narcissists don't make good...

Completing the psychological tasks facing adolescents is greatly complicated by cannabis use. Cannabis provides shortcuts to feeling autonomous, a new identity, and transcendence without requiring psychological growth. Psychological development is delayed and distorted when cannabis becomes the linchpin simulating maturity. Adolescents must be considered a separate subpopulation in any discussion...