What Terror Management Theory Teaches Us About Christmas

There’s no timeline for grieving. Losing someone you care about changes a person fundamentally. It's OK to "oscillate" between facing grief head-on and taking a break at times. People often ask me, "Will my grief ever end?" The answer is yes, but it will most likely change you forever,...

Some people never got what they needed from their parents, while some parents who were once good caregivers stop giving to their adult kids. Children tend to blame themselves when their parents are unkind or ungiving. Children also tend to believe that parents are capable of doing whatever they need...

Boundaries remain important even though a parent may be heavily involved in an adult child's life. Money and the exchange of it can be symbolically charged and needs to be handled carefully and with attention. Differences in opinion about childrearing are a hot-button issue for many adult children and their...

Many theories hold that males are naturally more aggressive than females. Several studies now show that women tend to be more aggressive than men, at least online. It may be time to re-think whether aggression is a biological trait or a social one. New research into cyberaggression suggests women are...

We engage in cultural affirmation when we broadcast positive, valuable aspects of belonging to a particular cultural group or social category. Because we experience higher self-esteem when we belong to a valued group, we’re sometimes motivated to devalue other groups. A better way to increase self-esteem is to build...

Conflict analysis and management isn't the only approach. It tends to ignore the physical body, leaving many people "stuck." Many cultures use rituals to help conflicted parties get back in sync and embody improved relationships. One way that rituals work is through dissolving the sense of self and applying constructive...

This post was co-authored by Laura O'Loughlin. Steering out of a driveway, I noticed a squirrel sprint onto the sidewalk near my car, so I stopped to watch. A companion squirrel ran after and stopped as well. The first squirrel started convulsing which turned into a long violent seizure. The other squirrel and I watched, stunned. After many moments, the first squirrel died. The other one, in a very human sort of way, looked distraught, scared, and sad. As I watched this scene, I noticed a fog descend over me. I was frozen and floaty. I couldn’t think straight. This was a familiar feeling; I was dissociating.

Answers are overrated in the art of living. Sometimes we are afraid to both move forward and turn back; we're stuck right where we are. Learning through exploration and curiosity fuels the potential for change and growth. One of my therapy clients said something so profound the other day it...

Studies of child development demonstrated long ago that extrinsic motivation (rewards) was less effective than intrinsic motivation (curiosity). Most children don't care about the external consequence or rewards attached to chores. Making chores a family affair teaches cooperation, empathy, and family values. The reward to doing chores as a family...

People who watch romantic television and movies report higher relationship commitment and satisfaction rates. Though we often blame romantic movies for setting too high expectations for relationships, they may make relationships better. Despite the stereotypes, many men like watching romantic movies. It seems that most couples I know are experiencing...

Procrastination is a tool that people use to feel good and avoid pain. Avoidance of pain through procrastination is ultimately harmful as it reduces resilience and keeps an individual stuck in procrastination loops. To address procrastination, one must look at the root emotions beneath the surface, rather than focus on...

A highly relational person (HRP) is highly tuned in and reactive to relational dynamics and invested in maintaining relational connection. HRPs can find comfort and strength simply knowing that there are others like them. If you’re an HRP, when you hone your relational gift and cultivate relational skills, it can...