Flirting: What Women and Men Like

A common complaint from partners is that the other is passive, doesn't initiate, and needs to step up to handle responsibilities. Drivers may include seeing the relationship in terms of traditional roles, avoiding conflict, having ADHD, and feeling criticized or neglected. Changing these patterns means addressing their underlying problems, crafting...

Moments of human connection have a positive psychological impact, but they do not always feel joyful. Meaningful interactions are often characterized by a complex mix of emotions—sometimes a mix of happy feelings and difficult ones. No matter what feelings we experience in the process of connecting, we tend to...

Blue lies are lies that one tells to benefit or protect their group. Group members often view blue lies as morally permissible and even virtuous. It seems that almost everyone lies. In my research, 95% of people report lying in any given week. Some of those untruths are white lies—small dishonest statements usually told to avoid social awkwardness or to benefit another. Some lies are more self-serving or selfish lies aimed at covering one’s misdeeds or gaining some advantage. These are referred to as black lies. But there is a third category of lies that fits neither of those categories: blue lies.

Are you pursuing a career or relationship that are not true to who you are?. Our lives are fleeting and precious. It is easy to deny the reality of our own demise, but wisdom comes from confronting our own mortality. What does it mean to think like a therapist? That...

Cultural myths affect how we talk about biological mothers and stepmothers. The complex role of the stepmother is often overlooked and reduced to a series of tropes. Being a successful stepmother is not easy, especially since there are specific boundaries associated with the role. The experiences of daughters with stepmothers...

Childhood hurts and competitive feelings often trickle into the workplace and could prevent one's career from flourishing. Understanding how old family dynamics influence you can be key to carving out a promising career. Untreated depression, ADD, and anxiety can endanger employment in some cases. We all know that the workplace...

I've learned that when my autistic son has an outburst or meltdown, we must summon our empathy. Our focus must not be on making him stop. When he is upset, we must listen wisely to find the key to calming him. Our response must be "can do," not "we can't."...

From the very beginning of our lives, we need another person to reflect back to us that they see us in all of our complexity. We want to know that we can be loved even with our flaws, imperfections, and negative qualities. Mirroring is mutual. The person who reflects to...

Many people come to therapy when they are struggling with loneliness. They ask questions like:. “Why do I feel lonelier now than ever before, despite being more connected online?”. “How can I make meaningful connections with others when everything is done online?”. “Why do I feel like social media is...

It is common to get caught up in emotional baggage about family issues. When tragedy strikes a family, you tend to blame yourself or others you’re close to. Letting go of guilt, anger, and negative emotions helps you to move on. To move past the past often involves forgiving...

Caring for family members who are in vegetative states can feel like an ambiguous loss. In addition, caring for family who live in a different country can bring about additional difficulties. Reliance on social networks for instrumental and emotional support can lessen the difficulty during this time. Self-compassion is another...

Awe is an emotional experience felt when individuals encounter powerful experiences, such as works of art, giving birth, or nature. The feeling of awe evokes a sense of wonder and can transform the way we see the world. The experience of awe can make us feel diminished and insignificant. Encountering...

Positive effects of responsiveness to others include compensation for weak inner expectations and a tempering of rigid inner expectations. Negative effects of responsiveness to others include antisocial and self-destructive behavior, enabling addicts, and ignoring one's own needs. A balance between responsiveness to inner and outer expectations is good, but an...

Postpartum depression is a serious condition that affects one out of seven women. The practice of infant massage may help alleviate postpartum depression, especially with mothers of preterm babies. Infant massages help parents learn their baby's cues and promote attachment. Having a baby can be one of the most exhilarating...

Behavioral economists have long spoken about mental labor in terms of economics—people usually think of effort in terms of costs and payoffs. According to the "law of least effort," people find exerting either physical or cognitive effort aversive or costly. Some people—such as mountaineers and Rubik's cubers—choose to exert...

Couples 50 years and older can face big financial surprises. Effective communication between spouses is crucial during a gray divorce. Accepting the new financial reality, forward thinking, and planning are essential. Gray divorce refers to couples aged 50 and older. Divorces include legal, emotional, and financial issues. To provide information...

Many of us approach change through self-shame. Shame activates our fear-response system, which is counterproductive to lasting change. Science shows us that self-compassion is a more effective approach. As January wanes, so too may your resolve for positive change dwindle. For many of us, January starts with a ray of...

Therapy can seem mysterious and daunting, but it involves a process of change and learning. Through therapy, a person can become more fluid and open to experience. People become more willing to be open about who they are. Psychotherapy can seem mysterious and unknown, daunting to people who think about...

One of the most common after-effects of childhood attachment trauma is the development of a harsh inner critic. At the root of self-hate and self-neglect are conditioned beliefs that they aren’t good enough to be loved or cared for. Feelings of self-hate and self-neglect can generalize to self-sabotaging behavior...

There is unavoidable emotional pain when those we care about are threatened or suffer. Most of our stresses and upsets come from needless suffering that we cause ourselves, which is the opposite of being at peace. Strengthen neural networks in the brain that support spacious mindfulness, staying in the present,...