Forget Niceness—Just Be Kind

Specific facets rather than broad personality factors are more successful in predicting cross-border mobility. Call Data Records can successfully be used to analyze people’s cross-border mobility and dynamics. Younger people who are open to new values and experiences, and seeking novelty and excitement, are more likely to travel abroad.

Midlife isn’t completely magical nor completely miserable. The truth is somewhere in the middle. There’s no such thing as a one-size-fits-all experience of midlife. Midlife is a time for figuring out who you’ve been, who you are, and who you are becoming. Midlife can be messy—especially for...

People who are more anxious try to give some of their anxiety to those who are less anxious. Anxiety tends to be polarized into rigid gender roles in heterosexual couples. Some men try to "solve" their female partner's anxiety in order to avoid feeling negative emotions themselves. Accepting more of...

Competition and conflict between siblings is not unusual. It is important to communicate and try to resolve differences. You have to accept the past and let go of hard feelings. Keeping larger interests of the family in mind may help. I knew that I’d have to deploy some conciliation skills...

We tend to believe that we should seek advice from those with a lot of expertise. But that is not how we actually choose whom to have as our mentor. At the moment of decision-making, we may rely too much on positivity rather than expertise. We often end up choosing...

When a loved one engages in behavior that is scary or dangerous, it's natural to urgently want them to stop. Even if a behavior is destructive, it can still serve a purpose for an individual, leading them to feel ambivalent about stopping. Instead of accusing a loved one of being...

Consciously crossing thresholds of life changes can help us develop ourselves more fully. Helping clients face thresholds is a crucial aspect of our work. Reviewing how we've crossed thresholds in our own lives helps us develop skill with threshold work. A threshold is "the door sill, the point of entering,”...

When zero-gen daters are exposed to a novel romantic situation, they could freeze. ‎. Any breach of the social script could lead to social exclusion. How to relate to people is a delicate dynamic that frustrates many zero-gen daters.‎. Mohammed is a pseudonym of a zero-gen dater through ‎whom I...

Back in 2015, an essay went viral that described 36 questions used in a psychology experiment that brought people emotionally close (or to quote the article, made them “fall in love”). Even now, I still see articles come out that portray these specific questions—as they are used in new studies—as nearly magical keys to meaningful emotional connection.

Tinnitus can have a significant impact on someone's life and mental health. Feeling a sense of loss, of silence and control, is common for chronic tinnitus sufferers. Part of managing tinnitus is to learn how to accept it, rather than struggle against it. It engulfs when the house is quiet....

We must take pride in utilizing psychological tools and resources rather than reinforcing stigma. Honing the brain's psychological potential should be a vital opportunity for resource utilization. It is efficacious and efficient to go to therapy. It isn’t weakness. As a psychologist working primarily with military and first responders,...

This post was co-authored by Laura O'Loughlin. Steering out of a driveway, I noticed a squirrel sprint onto the sidewalk near my car, so I stopped to watch. A companion squirrel ran after and stopped as well. The first squirrel started convulsing which turned into a long violent seizure. The other squirrel and I watched, stunned. After many moments, the first squirrel died. The other one, in a very human sort of way, looked distraught, scared, and sad. As I watched this scene, I noticed a fog descend over me. I was frozen and floaty. I couldn’t think straight. This was a familiar feeling; I was dissociating.

We engage in cultural affirmation when we broadcast positive, valuable aspects of belonging to a particular cultural group or social category. Because we experience higher self-esteem when we belong to a valued group, we’re sometimes motivated to devalue other groups. A better way to increase self-esteem is to build...

The emotion of awe immerses us into mysteries beyond our current understanding. An awe of death can promote healthy coping and insights into the meaning of life. My mom died from cancer when I was 14. Although her death wasn’t unexpected, it stunned me nonetheless. One particular moment in...

Bad choices are all too easy when it comes to daily routines, but spending time wisely doesn't have to be so elusive. Take on your least favorite tasks in the morning when you are most alert, but don't forget to take short breaks, too. It's important to make time for...