A woman has shared her heartbreak online after her husband—whom she cared for during illness and helped through law school—announced he was leaving her.
In a post on Reddit's r/TrueOffMyChest sub on November 1, the 29-year-old woman explained that she and her husband had been together for seven years and married for five.
"12 days ago he found out he passed the bar exam," wrote the poster. "The next day he tells me there's someone else and he's leaving me. He moved out the next day."
The distraught wife explained how she had recently cared for her husband through a variety of life events: "He went to law school while I worked, I cared for him through obesity and thyroid cancer."
Asked about the story by Newsweek, family and childcare expert Florence Ann Romano said: "Being a caretaker in any capacity can be emotionally, physically, and otherwise depleting. You are putting someone else's needs before your own not just for a day, but more than likely for months or years. In this woman's case, considering it was a romantic relationship, resentment can understandably breed from these circumstances."
Writing on the day she was due to have her appointment with her lawyer, she explained that the divorce would be simple as they had no property, children or debt, but she felt frustration at working for the past five years while he did not.
"First [it was] because of obesity and cancer, and then law school," she explained. "Now he is a lawyer though his job doesn't start until next year. My lawyer says I might get something because of that."
On the Reddit post, which has over 11,000 upvotes, one commenter said: "Tale as old as time. They used you until they leveled up and then tried to level-up dating as well. It isn't you. You're not the issue."
Another commenter said: "Five bucks says he comes crawling back in the next 6 months. He's going to learn the grass isn't really greener on the other side."
"This concept of 'leveling up' is interesting because, if we all were honest with ourselves, we know when we first start dating a person if you're aligned in that way. Sometimes the 'level' refers to background: career, finances, family, etc," said Romano. "If you don't align in these ways, I would see that as a red flag. It won't get better from there."
The heartbroken woman said on Reddit: "Anyways, this is just me throwing myself a pity party and swearing off dating and relationships from now on. I'm glad I have my job to distract me because this sucks."
"Sue him for every penny you can get," said another reply, while one Redditor wrote: "Sorry that you are going through this. He's a piece of s***."
"My advice for this woman is to feel the grief—sit with it and walk through it. Don't try to go around it," said Romano. "When people show you who they are, believe them. The best revenge in life isn't getting even—it's to be happy."
Newsweek has reached out to the poster u/DivorceThrowRAAA889 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
About the writer
Alice Gibbs is a Newsweek Senior Internet Trends & Culture Reporter based in the U.K. For the last two years ... Read more
To read how Newsweek uses AI as a newsroom tool, Click here.
