Mom Backed for Keeping Christmas Hike Tradition, Despite Son's Girlfriend

A mom is being praised for holding firm on continuing her family's Christmas tradition of a morning hike, even though her son asked her to "downgrade" it for his girlfriend.

The mom, u/ViolinistOk9892, shared her story to the popular Reddit forum r/AmITheA******, earning 13,100 upvotes and 2,500 comments in two days for her post, "[Am I the A******] for not downgrading the family pre-feast hike on Christmas for my son's girlfriend?"

The original poster (OP) says her son, "Porter," is bringing his girlfriend of six months, "Emily," to Christmas this year. The OP is clear to say she has "no time" for "all that hoopla about the [mother-in-law]/[daughter-in-law] dynamic," and thinks Emily's a "great match" for her son.

When they had a Skype chat on Thanksgiving, making plans for the Christmas holiday, the OP mentioned bringing hiking boots—adding they'd "have plenty of yaktrax if the trails are icy," referring to a brand of grips that can be fastened to boots, giving the wearer extra traction.

Emily wasn't sure what the OP meant, so she explained that their family has a tradition going back ages—when she was a girl, her family made the hike, as did her husband's family. Many of her friends even have a similar tradition.

"She got quiet and asked if she had to. I said no, of course she doesn't have to, but we've always done this and I was surprised Porter didn't mention it," u/ViolinistOk9892 wrote.

Porter called the next day, saying that Emily would have trouble keeping up, even on the easier trails. Instead, he suggested the family do a "nice short family walk in the neighborhood" so Emily feels like a part of the family. The OP instead suggested that he and Emily stay home that morning while the rest of the family goes on the hike.

"I remember being young with Porter's father and how special those early Christmas mornings always were. Plus this will be her first time with the family and it's going to be a LOT," she said.

Porter balked at this suggestion, telling his mother she's "not hearing him," and that they should do a smaller hike or something altogether different. She countered that changing the years-long tradition for one person wasn't fair to the rest of the family. She also offered that if they stayed behind, she'd be happy to go on a quiet walk with the two of them later that day, but he repeated that she's "not hearing him."

Hiking is a wonderful way to not only get exercise, but also see some amazing views. But issues may arise when one person might not be as robust a hiker as the rest of their party. Wesley Trimble of the American Hiking Society gave Newsweek a number of tips for the novice hiker.

Trimble said that even with the Christmas hike a month away, it's possible to train for it. The first step is simply to get out there and walk—starting with shorter, slower walks and incrementally increasing the amount of time spent walking each day.

"Folks should listen to their body. Everyone is different in their base fitness, medical history, and outlook on exercise, so people should adjust their training accordingly. As a foundation for hiking, going for consistent walks throughout the week with perhaps one longer walk each week is a great place to start, and remember to take rest days when your body is sore and needs a break," he told Newsweek.

Once walks become a regular routine, Trimble says the next step is to train for specific trails. For example, he says, if it's a steep trail, try to incorporate more hills into the daily walks. If one wants to hike an uphill trail but happens to live in a flat area—don't despair! Trimble suggests climbing stadium bleachers, stairs or inclined treadmills.

"With shorter days and colder temperatures this time of year, it can be more challenging to get outside, so walking on a treadmill might work for some people, but if the planned hike is on more rugged terrain with an uneven trail, it is also a good idea to get used to walking on uneven surfaces," he said.

It's also best to use the hiking shoes on these daily walks, along with a backpack with any gear that might be needed on the actual hike, in order to get used to the added weight and the shoes. Shoes should be well-fitting and have good traction and support.

"Your feet are literally your foundation, so take care of them as best as you can. Happy feet make for pleasant hiking," Trimble told Newsweek.

When it comes to useful tools, Trimble said that in addition to traction devices like Yaktrax, trekking poles can also be helpful, as they "provide additional points of contact with the ground and can help with balance."

"The biggest advantage of trekking poles is they reduce the stress and pressure on the knees, especially while descending steep sections of trails," he said, but added that when it comes to one's fitness versus their gear, fitness will be the most important every time.

Trimble also recommends taking a few minutes to read the American Hiking Society's tips on etiquette and the "Recreate Responsibly" principles. But he also had some advice for the OP and the rest of the family.

"I encourage groups to let the slowest person set the pace. If that individual is not comfortable about setting the pace for the group, it's a great idea to take frequent breaks and allow everyone to catch up and regroup. Ask how everyone is doing and evaluate the group morale before continuing. Quiet hikers might not speak up about how they are feeling because they might not want to disappoint the group, which can lead to exhaustion and other serious circumstances and a less than-enjoyable hiking experience.

"If the group decides to split up, make sure a clear plan is communicated with the whole group, so everyone knows when to turn back and where to meet," he told Newsweek. "The Christmas hiking tradition sounds great, and I hope with some of these tips, the family and the new girlfriend will be ready for a fun-filled hike."

Redditors took the mom's side in the debate.

"He's free to do a shorter hike with her, too. While it would be nice for them to join the big hike, he can also take her on a shorter and much easier one," u/Alwaysaprairiegirl said. "It's nice that he wants to accommodate her, but it shouldn't be at everyone's expense. They can have quiet couple time. She'll probably be grateful for it. If I could have skipped church and the in-law family walk back then just to have an hour or two alone, I would have been much happier."

"They could turn it into a winter picnic - and if this is their plan the whole time it wouldn't be embarrassing as they wouldn't be quitting the hike because she couldn't keep up but rather having a cute little outdoor date on their first Christmas together. Just dress warm, bring a thermos and a blanket and set it down at a lookout point," u/Meriadoxm suggested.

"[Not the A******]! my family hikes on holidays as well, and i'd be really surprised and maybe a little defensive if one of my sisters tried to change things for a new boo," u/sunfloweries said. "however, i'm guessing porter is just trying to stop any embarrassment or anxiety from emily's POV. it's sweet, just misguided. he wants to protect her from being seen as an outsider! just make sure they know that her being out of shape has no bearing on how you feel about her.

"[To be honest,] you sound like a nice [mother-in-law] and i'm sure you'll be able to connect with emily in your own way!" they added.

Newsweek reached out to u/ViolinistOk9892 for comment. We could not verify the details of this case.