Imagine, my friends, if you will, ordering something online and receiving...
1.
An HD television for ants:
2.
The world's scariest mask:
3.
This year's hottest film:
4.
A stylish pair of boots for your index and middle finger
5.
Baby Yoda's beloved relative, Cousin Yooba:
6.
The biblical Goliath's new Airpod pros:
7.
A Pickle Rick who's seen some things...terrible things:
9.
A beautifully crafted candle holder delicately made by someone riding the Wicked Cyclone rollercoaster at Six Flags New England:
10.
A beautiful nightstand to store mayhaps a single grain of rice:
11.
The perfect work glove for all sorts of manual labor:
12.
A fridge fit for a (very, very tiny) king:
13.
The OTHER scariest mask in existence:
14.
The best senior shirt ever:
15.
What just might be the world's biggest ladle:
16.
This absolutely spot-on bear mask:
17.
AirPods with a very tender message:
18.
The most polite jersey there ever was:
19.
José Altuve's cleats:
20.
A classic Star Trek / DHL shirt mix-up:
21.
The tiniest little scratchin' post:
22.
The world's longest pair of shorts:
23.
Thanos' infinity heel:
24.
The hoylest of bibles:
25.
The perfect reading lamp for one single word of text:
26.
A big ol' stinkin' container of goop:
27.
[Alanis Morissette voice] 75 pounds of lubricant when all you want is some soup:
28.
A rug for YOUR feet and YOUR feet ONLY:
29.
Business cards from an extremely prestigious university:
30.
A great pen if you work at a company called "Please Use Uploaded Logo," but not so much if you work anywhere else:
31.
A simply stunning banner:
32.
Everyone's favorite soccer player:
33.
An absolutely fantastic logo:
34.
A wonderful name for a baby:
35.
Mom's important message of gratitude:
36.
A, let's be honest, kinda wordy glass:
37.
And, finally, insult to injury from the person who sold you some garbaggio:
