The Power of Predictability

Not everyone realizes how powerful words can be. One negative statement can negate thousands of kind and thoughtful words we have said to someone. It's important to consider how our words—both negative and positive—will affect others and ourselves before we use them. I think everyone agrees that words...

Many people come to therapy when they are struggling with loneliness. They ask questions like:. “Why do I feel lonelier now than ever before, despite being more connected online?”. “How can I make meaningful connections with others when everything is done online?”. “Why do I feel like social media is...

Most new ideas fail because leaders assume stakeholders can verbally describe their needs. The bouba/kiki effect was first described in 1929 and has implications for leadership. The bouba/kiki effect explains failures at Amazon and Ford Motor Company. There are ways to use the bouba/kiki effect as a leadership tool. Ninety...

Masks help an individual show their selected strengths to the world while shielding their vulnerabilities. Being open to oneself is the first step in building trust in a relationship. Meditation is one of several ways that partners can learn to let go of the fear of doubt and uncertainty in...

Scientists are on their way to developing the capacity to create “designer babies." The ethics of “special ordering” children have yet to be addressed. Parenting will take on new complexities should we become able to dictate children’s attributes and skill sets. Genetically modified children may experience...

A prenuptial agreement is drafted and signed before marriage to protect financial assets and provide certainty and transparency for both spouses. Prenups can build certainty, which reduces anxiety, cuts down on future legal fees, and provides a road map for your financial future. This is especially important for second and...

Many people downplay emotionality as weak and dramatic. Fearing emotion leads to overthinking and anxiety. Regularly avoiding emotions can leave a lot of unprocessed baggage that can feel overwhelming when confronted, but no emotion lasts forever. It’s common to hear well-meaning helpers telling you to “trust your feelings,” or “go...

Behavioral economists have long spoken about mental labor in terms of economics—people usually think of effort in terms of costs and payoffs. According to the "law of least effort," people find exerting either physical or cognitive effort aversive or costly. Some people—such as mountaineers and Rubik's cubers—choose to exert...

Awe is an emotional experience felt when individuals encounter powerful experiences, such as works of art, giving birth, or nature. The feeling of awe evokes a sense of wonder and can transform the way we see the world. The experience of awe can make us feel diminished and insignificant. Encountering...

Depression might be associated with a particular place and time and a solution to ‎that predicament is to travel and immigrate.‎. Since language is central to thought and emotions, learning a new language forces ‎the brain to see the world differently.‎. People who suffer from depression can try...

Cannabis use is common during pregnancy, especially in the first trimester. THC concentrations in a fetus are one-third of the concentration found in the mother's blood. THC interferes with a fetus's natural cannabinoid chemistry guiding axon growth necessary for proper brain development. Adverse consequences for cognition and attention throughout childhood...

Leaders and managers at all levels say the soft skills gap is not going away. If you are hiring for a low-supply, high-demand, technical-skill job, you probably won’t be able to weed out all those with weak soft skills. Most managers don’t have the extra time or resources to...

Emotional individuals tend to make poorer decisions. It’s normal to want what others have, but this can become deceptively destructive. Measuring one's present self against one's past self, instead of against others, is a good way to combat envy. Envy has long been a destructive force in human relationships...

You are responsible for the decisions you make but that doesn't stop you taking advice and reflecting on other people's perspectives first. People will have their own agenda when they offer advice. It's important to be objective and weight up different views on their merits. Challenge the assumptions made in...

Values represent a direction and associated behaviors that have the potential to bring joy and fulfillment. There is no finish line. The focus on values is at the core of a therapeutic intervention called acceptance and commitment therapy. A classic ACT exercise for accessing values is to think about your...

Caring for family members who are in vegetative states can feel like an ambiguous loss. In addition, caring for family who live in a different country can bring about additional difficulties. Reliance on social networks for instrumental and emotional support can lessen the difficulty during this time. Self-compassion is another...

Patients with facial paralysis have an impaired ability to communicate and express their emotions. Depression and anxiety have been found to be much more prevalent in this patient population. Prompt diagnosis and treatment can help mitigate the impact of long-standing disease. Bell’s palsy, or idiopathic facial paralysis, can have a...

Parents can learn from marketing tactics by influencing their children with short teaching moments. Reactive parenting with frustration may be emotionally disruptive to the child impairing their ability to learn new behaviors. Short frequent guidance can build a strong bond and allow parents to model empathy and calmness and provide...

Why is it so challenging for adults to find joy in the everyday, yet so easy for children? We enter the world with a sense of wonder and curiosity. Because we are constantly in the present moment, our eyes see only what is right in front of us, making us little masters of mindfulness. We engage freely and smile easily. As we move from infancy through toddlerhood, we play ceaselessly and ask endless questions.

Prolonged Grief Disorder is a new DSM diagnosis for grief lasting longer than 1 year. It's OK to mourn; grief helps us recognize the preciousness of each moment. Grief affects family members differently, and it's important to respect how others grieve. As a psychotherapist, I’ve often worked with clients who...