Are You Chasing Happiness Like a Rainbow?

Conflict analysis and management isn't the only approach. It tends to ignore the physical body, leaving many people "stuck." Many cultures use rituals to help conflicted parties get back in sync and embody improved relationships. One way that rituals work is through dissolving the sense of self and applying constructive...

There’s no timeline for grieving. Losing someone you care about changes a person fundamentally. It's OK to "oscillate" between facing grief head-on and taking a break at times. People often ask me, "Will my grief ever end?" The answer is yes, but it will most likely change you forever,...

Some people never got what they needed from their parents, while some parents who were once good caregivers stop giving to their adult kids. Children tend to blame themselves when their parents are unkind or ungiving. Children also tend to believe that parents are capable of doing whatever they need...

Living single can be such a vastly different experience for different people. At one end are the people who are distraught to be single and often invest heavily in becoming coupled. At the other end are the "single at heart"—people for whom single life is their best life—their most authentic, meaningful, fulfilling, and psychologically rich life. The single at heart are not settling for being single—they are embracing it. In single life, they flourish.

People who watch romantic television and movies report higher relationship commitment and satisfaction rates. Though we often blame romantic movies for setting too high expectations for relationships, they may make relationships better. Despite the stereotypes, many men like watching romantic movies. It seems that most couples I know are experiencing...

Around 42 percent of Americans "actively avoid the news at least some of the time." Research shows that different ways of engaging with the news can be either harmful to our mental health or empowering. By assuming detached engagement, we can strive to be invested in what’s going on in...

We engage in cultural affirmation when we broadcast positive, valuable aspects of belonging to a particular cultural group or social category. Because we experience higher self-esteem when we belong to a valued group, we’re sometimes motivated to devalue other groups. A better way to increase self-esteem is to build...

When you marry, you may get a mother-in-law, father-in-law, siblings-in-law, grandparents-in-law and all their family history. The better you know your future in-laws before the wedding, the better off you all will be. Families often have different communication styles; figure out the style of the family you are marrying into...

Romanticized success can drive unhealthy behaviors that contribute to burnout. Science shows we can shift behavior to protect our well-being through practices such as mindfulness and intermittent technology fasts. Hustle and grind culture is the new religion. Bursting at the seams, to-do lists and schedules are normalized. Messages flood our...

Following death, divorce, moving, and illness, the loss of a job is one of the top life stressors. Studies show that job instability is linked to worsening mental health. Feelings of powerlessness and lack of agency are two of the contributors to the emotional distress caused by job instability. Another...

Did you know lifestyle changes activate genes to fight cancers? That how you spend your time influences both genetic function and how you function?. In his groundbreaking National Geographic piece, Michael F. Roizin makes an undeniably compelling case for leading a healthy lifestyle. He asserts that 40 percent of premature deaths in the United States are related to lifestyle choices.

A highly relational person (HRP) is highly tuned in and reactive to relational dynamics and invested in maintaining relational connection. HRPs can find comfort and strength simply knowing that there are others like them. If you’re an HRP, when you hone your relational gift and cultivate relational skills, it can...

Completing the psychological tasks facing adolescents is greatly complicated by cannabis use. Cannabis provides shortcuts to feeling autonomous, a new identity, and transcendence without requiring psychological growth. Psychological development is delayed and distorted when cannabis becomes the linchpin simulating maturity. Adolescents must be considered a separate subpopulation in any discussion...

Feelings of excitement will give you the energy necessary to project the slightly bigger-than-life persona you need. The mental exercise required to recall an emotion has the added benefit of making you forget your nerves. Use deep breathing to various forms of meditation to maintain your calm. Is stress bad...

Procrastination is a tool that people use to feel good and avoid pain. Avoidance of pain through procrastination is ultimately harmful as it reduces resilience and keeps an individual stuck in procrastination loops. To address procrastination, one must look at the root emotions beneath the surface, rather than focus on...

It's tempting to separate the brain and the body when thinking about disease. This separation is often artificial and leaves patients feeling misunderstood. Just because we don't understand an illness, doesn't mean it's "all in our head." In a recent commentary in the Lancet, Chloe Saunders and colleagues made a...

Answers are overrated in the art of living. Sometimes we are afraid to both move forward and turn back; we're stuck right where we are. Learning through exploration and curiosity fuels the potential for change and growth. One of my therapy clients said something so profound the other day it...

Studies of child development demonstrated long ago that extrinsic motivation (rewards) was less effective than intrinsic motivation (curiosity). Most children don't care about the external consequence or rewards attached to chores. Making chores a family affair teaches cooperation, empathy, and family values. The reward to doing chores as a family...