‘Masterful’ Conor McGregor invents new UFC attack, floors hapless sparring partner with one punch

Former UFC lightweight champion Conor McGregor is bragging about his “masterful” performance against whatever warm body signed up to be his punching bag but I think we can all agree that beating up a sparring partner who’s not allowed to hit back is like winning a shit-wiping contest against a constipated opponent.

“Praise be to the hours I’ve put into my craft,” McGregor wrote on Instagram. “If you’ve seen the amount of hours I’ve put into my mastery, it wouldn’t seem so masterful at all.”

Take notes, Mr. Fiziev.

It’s a strange position for a fighter coming off back-to-back losses, which includes his UFC 257 knockout defeat to Dustin Poirier. “Notorious” was outstruck in both significant and total strikes before getting put to sleep midway through the second stanza.

“Here is another brand spankin’ ‘Conor McGregor Created’ shot for you all,” McGregor continued. “I know you’ve never seen this one before. Like the rest of them. A fake spinning back kick into a back hand rifle. I call this shot ‘the tiocfaidh ar la.’”

I think that’s Gaelic for, “I’ve had too much Proper Twelve.”

McGregor, 34, has been out of action for more than a year while rehabbing his broken leg. “Notorious” was expected to make his Octagon return at some point in early 2023; however, this new movie role could keep McGregor on ice until further notice.

Either way, fans remain unimpressed by his latest video.

“It’s not that I’m the best,” McGregor said. “It’s that I’m at it the longest and the mostest as well as i’m the best.”