Bride Slamming 'Entitled' Guest Not RSVPing to Wedding Invite Applauded

A bride slamming a guest for being "entitled" after they didn't RSVP to her wedding has been applauded online.

The wife-to-be vented her frustration over the guestlist to Mumsnet, under username Charliehaus, as she asked for advice over whether to chase up the invitee.

The post, which can be read here, amassed more than 270 responses since being shared on Sunday.

File photo of a wedding invite.
File photo of a wedding invite. A bride has slammed a guest "entitled" for not RSVPing. mihalec/Getty Images

The woman, based in the U.K., explained the tardy replier was based in the U.S., and she made it onto the guest primarily because she was best friends with one of her bridesmaids.

"I have a 'friend' who I feel is purposely keeping me hanging and not replying. Tbh she makes zero effort and I wouldn't have invited her but it's to make one of my bridesmaids happy. We used to be good friends but it's all one way effort which I have given up on," she wrote.

Website Brides.com stated venue and catering roughly equates to 40 percent of the budget, and the more people you have, the more expensive it is.

The 2020 Brides American Wedding Study revealed the average cost of getting married is $28,964, meaning 40 percent works out to a hefty $11,585.

After hearing "nothing" back regarding the wedding invite, the bride dropped her a message to check it had been received.

She fumed: "I messaged her yesterday, a lovely message and asked if she received our invited. She replied 'yes.' But still no RSVP (by now she surely would have had to book flights and know if she's back in the U.K.)."

To complicate matters, the bride-to-be claimed her bridesmaid informed her the friend has booked flights to attend the wedding.

"The question is what do I do? Do I message her again and ask her to RSVP? I know it sounds ridiculous but I'm quite uncomfortable with her and feel like I'm begging her to come or at least make a thing of it which I don't want," she said.

Acknowledging they're no longer close, she added: "I obviously need final numbers. If it wasn't for my bridesmaid, I would have completely broken off the friendship and just sent a message if at all to say the deadline has passed."

Curating the guestlist is delicate, as sometimes tough decisions need to be made, and that's not yet taking into account the seating plan.

Each head costs the bride and groom money, so they need precise figures, while any no-shows leave couples out of pocket.

Brides Editorial Director Gabriella Rello Duffy told Newsweek: "The guest list and RSVP process can be the most anxiety ridden part of a wedding, because there might be a lot of follow up involved."

She stressed the betrothed should never assume someone is a no if they haven't RSVP'd, as their response may have been lost in the mail, or a spam inbox.

"I always recommend a polite follow-up. Give guests a buffer of three or four days before calling, emailing, or texting anyone you've not heard from yet.

"There's nothing wrong with a quick message like, 'Hi Jane, kindly checking in to see if you'll be able to make it to the wedding. We haven't received your RSVP and would love to know if we can count you in for the celebration!'" she advised.

And she set out the proper etiquette for guests, saying: "And for the guests, the polite thing to do is always RSVP, whether or not you're able to make it.

"Your loved ones are excited to celebrate their wedding with you and getting back to them in a timely manner lets them know how excited you are and helps them with their wedding planning.

Thank you all for confirming I am not being difficult or a bridezilla."
Bride

"Accidents do happen, so if you misplace your RSVP card or find it under a stack of mail after thinking you mailed it weeks ago, don't panic.

"Just send the couple a quick message letting them know you'll be there and explaining the delay."

Duffy stressed holding onto the envelope to see who it's addressed to, as it this will clear up who exactly is invited, another common source of contention.

"The easiest way to ensure you receive RSVPs in a timely manner is to always, ALWAYS include a self-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope.

"Your guests then have no reason not to drop the card back in the mail," she said.

The fact the guest confirmed they'd received the invite, but not formally replied, was slammed by Mumsnetters.

User1435 wrote: "Just tell her the place is gone as she didn't RSVP! You never have to see her again if you don't want to, don't let this affect how you feel on your wedding day!"

Bumpinthenight warned: "I wouldn't chase again. You've already done that by asking if she got the invite. I'd leave it until she comes up in conversation with your bridesmaid and respond matter of factly that 'friend' didn't RSVP so obviously she isn't coming."

Phishy added: "I would text her saying as you haven't RSVP'd, I've assumed you're not coming and have invited other people instead. Don't play around with b*****s."

The bride also responded to replies in the comments, as she labeled the guest "rude," adding: "Thank you all for confirming I am not being difficult or a bridezilla."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.

Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

About the writer


Rebecca Flood is Newsweek's Audience Editor (Trends) and joined in 2021 as a senior reporter.

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