Nick Viall Shares His Biggest Dating Mistake: I Prioritized 'My Ego Over My Heart'

Nick Viall is opening up about his journey to finding love.

The former Bachelor star, 42, appeared on Tuesday's episode of the PEOPLE Every Day podcast to discuss his new book Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday, relationships, hook-up culture and what he's learned along the way.

When asked by PEOPLE Every Day podcast host Janine Rubenstein about his biggest dating mistake, Viall responded: "Prioritizing my ego over my heart with any choice I've made when it comes to anything really."

He added, "I've made a lot of those mistakes where I prioritize what I thought I wanted in the moment, and I convinced myself of it and kind of ignored my real feelings about a situation because I wanted to feel validated. And I've done that plenty of times. I'm still susceptible to doing it. I think we all are. It's, as I always say, easy in theory and hard in practice."

While the Bachelor Nation alum is now dating girlfriend Natalie Joy, he wasn't afraid to get her input about his previous experiences with love for his new book. He said that Joy was "very helpful in the process" of writing.

"I tried to be creative with my writing, and I tried to be... Obviously, I'm known for having pretty direct advice, but I wanted to be empathetic, and I wanted to be relatable and certainly not be harsh or anything like that," he said. "Natalie was often the first person I would have read my pages."

Of the new book, out Tuesday, he said: "I kind of talk about the difference between 'f-boys' and players. Maybe I'm dating myself, but players is a term that was more common back in the day. And I would describe those people [as those] who truly have an alternative motive, right? They're putting up a front in order to make you believe that they have stronger feelings than they really do."

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Viall and Joy made their relationship Instagram official in January 2021 after quietly dating for months. He told Rubenstein that he advises getting into a relationship rather than staying in "situation-ships."

"A situation-ship is not an acceptable relationship status," he said. "If you're in a situation-ship, you are accepting less than you deserve."

RELATED VIDEO: Nick Viall Says He's 'Super Happy' with Girlfriend Natalie Joy: She 'Makes Me Want to Be Better'

Viall's dating life became public in 2014 after he appeared on Andi Dorfman's season of The Bachelorette and returned for Kaitlyn Bristowe's season in 2015. He was the runner-up both times.

Following a stint on Bachelor in Paradise, Viall was named the next Bachelor in 2017. His season ended with him getting engaged to Vanessa Grimaldi; the two called it quits five months later.

About his current relationship with the surgical technologist, he previously said: "I wouldn't be in a relationship with her if I didn't think it was possible, you know? She's the first person I've called my girlfriend, minus TV, in a long, long time."

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