Why Your Healthy Habits Don’t Stick—And How To Change It—According To A Behavioral Sustainability Scientist

If you look closely at the lives of the most successful people in the world—you'll notice that they all seem to have one thing in common—healthy habits.

Whether it's Richard Branson's commitment to waking up early to work out first thing in the morning (something the Obamas also swear by), Arianna Huffington and Oprah Winfrey's daily meditation practice or Bill Gates, Mark Cuban and Warren Buffet's love for reading, to name a few.

While starting a new habit might be easy, making it stick is a whole different enchilada. Although self-discipline and motivation play a key role in whether or not you are able to maintain a healthy habit, turns out, having a flexible approach is just as important.

"The primary way society teaches you to adopt healthy habits sets most people up to start and stop, but not sustain," says Michelle Segar, behavioral sustainability scientist, award-winning researcher at the University of Michigan and author of The Joy Choice.

"Much of the narrative about behavior change promotes 'doing it in a certain way' and in a prescribed quantity. This narrative has cultivated a strong belief in an all-or-nothing approach and grandiose plans—both of which thwart sustainability for most," Segar explains.

Habiters vs. Unhabiters

While "habiters" might succeed with this conventional approach as it promotes the type of structure, discipline and precision that habiters thrive on, "unhabiters"—which is the majority of the population—aren't able to do so, notes Segar.

"Unhabiters have a lot of unexpected in their lives. They are often the parent who is in charge of the household logistics—when the dog pukes they clean it up, they organize social events, they pick and drop off the kids, etc. They might also be someone who manages many people in a workplace," says Segar. The bottom line is that the lives of unhabiters tend to have a lot of unanticipated events and when it comes to sustaining healthy habits like mindful eating or regular exercise, the plans of unhabiters often get disrupted, adds the sustainable behavior expert.

In her book, The Joy Choice, Segar notes that this point of conflict becomes your choice point—"the true place of power." What you do here determines not only the fate of your specific behavior change plan but your success in supporting the greater goals they aim to achieve, she writes.

The Joy Choice

So what should you do when there are so many moving parts in your life—both expected and the unexpected—competing for your time, energy and attention?

It's all about learning how to navigate and negotiate when your behavior change plans become unworkable, says Segar. To pick the "perfect imperfect" option—what Segar has termed "the Joy Choice." It's the option that lets you do something instead of nothing, breaking away from the all-or-nothing mindset so you can maintain momentum and stay on the path of lasting change, she explains.

Basically, "it's about not letting perfection be the enemy of good enough," she notes. It's about having flexible beliefs and strategies that work for rather than against you and all the meaningful things that make up your life, she further elaborates on the point in her book.

"Flexible thinking cultivates psychological resilience to negative life events, including better coping and emotion regulation within work, relationships and leisure," says Segar. It also drives creativity in the face of challenges and unexpected sudden change, she notes in her book.

"We’ve been told over and over again, across decades, to stick to the plan no matter what. This idea is so deeply embedded in our psyches that inevitably these inflexible plans get blown to smithereens, leaving us picking up the pieces, once again despondent and pessimistic about ever becoming successful," Segar observes in The Joy Choice.

But flexible thinking is your "true superpower when it comes to successfully navigating choice points and making consistent decisions," she writes. "This is especially true for caregivers and others living with many competing responsibilities," adds the health coach.

How can unhabiters master sustainable change

Starting small is important. "Small is smart because it's a way to ease into your new change. Whether kids or adults or pets, learning is easier when you start with a smaller action or thing and build onto that as you master that level," says Segar.

Also, don't try to make too many changes at once as it would make you less likely to stay committed, therefore, less likely to succeed. Pick one behavior change at a time.

It's also imperative to have a flexible and resilient mindset. "Starting with a plan might need some motivation but what unhabiters want to be very clear about, if lasting change is their ultimate goal, is that their lifestyle change plan (exercise, healthy eating meditation, etc.) will have to flex and ebb and flow as their daily lives do," says Segar.

For example, if your goal is to meditate for 20 minutes daily but you're able to squeeze in only five minutes on certain days, do it for five minutes instead of skipping it altogether just because it was less than the desired amount of time. Or, let's say you decide to go for a jog every morning, but something comes up and you aren't able to do so. On those occasions, you can try to get in some cardio by climbing stairs instead of using an elevator or taking a brisk walk around the block between work.

Cultivate motivation by believing that something is better than nothing, says Segar. "Try to see being flexible and doing 'less' instead of trying to 'stick to the plan' as the way to lasting success," she suggests.

In addition, don't beat yourself up if you slip up or experience a setback, no matter what your plan or long-term goal is. You're a work in progress. So on those days, give yourself the gift of grace instead of giving up on your plans.