A guide to the rides at the Central Washington State Fair from a former thrill-seeker

Carnival rides are a rite of passage for any fairgoer. If you want a thrill, there’s no better way than speed and elevation.

But I’m just going to say it. I’m almost 42 years old and some carnival rides are beyond my comfort zone. I do not quickly overcome dizziness anymore, and I don’t know how my stomach will react to being tossed upside down and sideways in the blink of an eye.

And it’s OK, I can handle that.

I’ve paid my dues and recognize a time will come when the merry-go-round is more my jam.

That doesn’t mean I’m happy about it, and I’m not ready to give up yet. As a test, I rode some carnival rides at the Central Washington State Fair this week. Here’s how I fared:

Tilt-A-Whirl

The Tilt-A-Whirl is at almost every carnival or fair. It’s a classic, and riders know what they’re in for. A safe bet? Maybe.

This tried-and-true cornerstone of the carnival didn’t let me down. My equilibrium did.

The Tilt-A-Whirl sends riders spinning in domed carts, while rotating a larger circumference.

I laughed as the cart dipped into a spin, increasing its rotations. Clenching the handlebar and my teeth, I had a moment of panic, thinking, “this isn’t at full speed yet.” The thought quickly faded to pure glee, and I took delight in the last moments before slowing to a stop.

My eyes were spinning like marbles in a bowl, similar to an old cartoon. I was thankful for my sunglasses.

Rating: Mild-to-wild; will ride again.

Scrambler

Another familiar face in the carnival midway. I knew what to expect and this time I was not afraid.

To me, the Scrambler is the grown-up version of spinning in circles while singing “Ring Around the Rosie.” It’s a quick buzz with minimal damage when “we all fall down.”

The scrambler whirls riders past each other, then quickly whirls in another direction. The path is easy to keep track of, and I never felt my sense of direction was thrown off.

As the scrambler started to slow down, I felt fine, like I could go again without stepping off.

Rating: Chill-thrill, will ride again.

The Zillerator

The roller coaster at this year’s fair isn’t anything you’ll see at the big coaster parks, but for my bones, it was more than enough. At first glance, the coaster didn’t seem like it would induce many thrills, but it would suffice.

What I loved about this little roller coaster was the classic, slow “clank, clank, clank, clank,” as the cart went up an incline. It didn’t last long. The first drop was the largest.

I sat by myself in a cart made for four, thankful to be alone. The only thing louder than my cracking joints was the metal-on-metal clanking on tracks.

I grasped my wits and my sunglasses as the roller coaster traveled up and down, increasing and decreasing in speed. I was thankful I didn’t get dizzy.

Riders are jerked around as the coaster follows turns in the tracks. Before getting off, I wondered how my neck would feel the next day, a common concern most days lately.

Rating: Janky-wanky fun, good for a rush without the spins, will ride again.

Foot Loose

Hesitation crept into my thoughts: “Do I even consider going on this ride?” Since I steady myself while tilting my head back in the shower, I wondered whether it was a good idea to invert myself for the sake of a cheap thrill.

Foot Loose is a forward facing swing, sending riders forward and backward, ultimately suspending the carts upside down. My knuckles might have been white from gripping the safety harness but my eyes were shut so tight, I couldn’t even see light from the sunrays hitting my face.

As I stared at my legs while hanging upside down from the carnival ride, my hair freely hanging from my head, I contemplated every ride, shriek and spine-stretching spin. This is the ride that may end my thrill seeking. I loved the swinging and being upended, but the pause at the very top, no thank you. I didn’t need to see my untied shoelace dangled in my face.

Rating: Chiropractic therapy, won’t ride again.

Yo-Yo

It’s a swing, plain and simple. It’s low gimmick thrills and nothing fancy. I welcomed the chance to get off my feet and relax in the cool breeze and I sliced through the air, kicking my feet back and forth.

Rating: Easy-peasy, will ride again.

1001 Nachts

Watching the riders before me and from experience (20 years ago when this ride was the Falling Star), I knew 1001 Nachts would be a simple carnival ride.

The ride swings riders back and forth, and I felt like this was a good end to my day.

At its highest speed and dropping from the apex, my stomach felt a few drops, but it was tolerable and enjoyable. Dare I say nostalgic? The 1001 Nachts reminded me of riding down Fort Road and coming down a hill, quickly, my stomach still at the top.

As 1001 Nachts paused at the top of its rotation, I could see Sundola, the fair’s version of a gondola ride. Someday that may be the only ride I can tolerate.

I admire those on the ride next to me. I used to be them. I know where I belong — somewhere above the Sundola and below the Zipper.

Rating: Child- and Sara Rae-friendly, will ride again.