Channeling a slight modification to the Paul Simon song “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover,” a man took a creative path as he attempted to flee an accident scene yesterday morning in Stafford County.

On September 28th at 7:43 a.m. Sergeant A.I. Assur responded to a single vehicle accident near the intersection of Mountain View Road and Kellogg Mill Road. A 2018 Hyundai Sonata had left the roadway and gone through a field before being lodged in the embankment.

Jump on a truck, Chuck… The driver, and lone occupant, of the Hyundai attempted to flee the scene by jumping on the back of a passing garbage truck. While trash service has been spotty in the area, it is not believed he was attempting to remedy the trash pick-up problem. The driver of the trash truck stopped and the unwelcome hitchhiker hopped off. The suspect would later reveal he had seen a similar escape in a movie.

Run down the street, Pete… Sergeant Assur located the suspect walking down the road and ordered him to stop. The suspect continued the string of bad decisions by running away.

Dash through the trees, Louise… The suspect ran into the wooded area beside the road as an off-duty officer from Arlington County stopped to assist.

Cut through the briars, Myers… A briar patch proved the end of the foot chase as the suspect became entangled in thorns and surrendered without incident.

The suspect was identified as William Pandolfi, 57, of New Hampshire. Pandolfi had glassy eyes and slurred speech. He was charged with DUI, hit and run and a traffic lane violation. Pandolfi was held at the Rappahannock Regional Jail on a $10,000 bond.

Drive sober or get pulled over. Thank you to the Arlington County officer for his assistance at the scene.