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111 Comebacks You Wish You Would've Come Up With

BuzzFeed
BuzzFeed
 2022-09-29

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We rounded up the wittiest comebacks that Twitter and Reddit had to offer — scroll for some absolutely blistering burns.

1. This response that probably took that person’s ego down a notch:

God damn I know that hurt from clevercomebacks

2. This difference in perspectives:

Other people’s kids is a surprisingly great form of birth control from clevercomebacks

3. This award-winning line:

Is that why, after he left, it lasted for 4 more years and I won an Emmy for Best Actor in a Comedy? https://t.co/VTE6g2yjZp

@MrJonCryer 03:06 AM - 06 Sep 2020

4. This generational burn:

my daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said “hey, the 90’s called” and she replied “yeah cause they couldn’t text” and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me

@GrantTanaka 03:14 AM - 29 Jan 2021

5. This response that's worth a million bucks:

Separate payments from clevercomebacks

6. This detail-oriented mic drop:

I love puns from clevercomebacks

7. This arithmetically accurate callout:

Careful what you say from clevercomebacks

8. This animated response:

shrek grossed 484 million just so we’re clear https://t.co/GmuMK2Momz

@TheAccountOfSam 08:50 PM - 18 Jul 2018

9. This COVID-era comeback:

Whose line crew still delivering. from clevercomebacks

10. These subtle slights:

I don’t care if repost made me laugh from clevercomebacks

11. This reminder that we all have different standards:

Well now you do from clevercomebacks

12. This smooth burn:

I can't with these people from clevercomebacks

13. This textbook comeback:

A conversation about Latin from clevercomebacks

14. This distinction in demises:

Nice quick retort from clevercomebacks

15. This tweet that is all too relatable:

Yeah just wanna know from clevercomebacks

16. This very appropriate reference:

Does this belong here? from clevercomebacks

17. This math-forward myth buster:

Change my mind, but without science from clevercomebacks

18. This linguistic lash-out:

A lady just came up to me and said “Speak English, we are in San Diego.” So I politely responded by asking her “how do I say ‘San Diego’ in English?” The look of bewilderment on her face made it feel like a Friday.

@ArtyCurry 05:31 PM - 26 May 2021

19. This mind-blowing discovery:

Sorry if it’s a repost. It’s new to me from clevercomebacks

20. This thread that got real, real fast:

That's a critical hit!! from clevercomebacks

21. This response that came full circle:

Weird motives from clevercomebacks

22. This comeback that points out there is no Pokémon Go Outside:

I choose YOU, Bunny!!!! from clevercomebacks

23. This mother of all burns:

My parents are replacing their coffee machine, which is 7 years old. Me: that’s not that old, I have sheets older than that.Mother: well perhaps your sheets aren’t getting as much action as our coffee machine.I’m going to need an ambulance.

@callapilla 08:34 AM - 14 Jul 2019

24. This historically epic exchange:

Oof! British people be like... from clevercomebacks

25. This burn of biblical proportions:

Totally true from clevercomebacks

26. This response that is just hilarious:

Bold choice of posts! from clevercomebacks

27. This patriotic mix-up:

a true Liberian patriot 🇱🇷 from facepalm

28. This colossal comeback:

On dinosaurs from facepalm

29. This bear-ly endurable burn:

Wait, are they not supposed to do that? from MurderedByWords

30. This simple *roast*:

31. This potentially market-changing remark:

Make smaller sizes https://t.co/doylinhwLt

@ennwhee 09:33 AM - 05 Mar 2018

32. This literal burn:

33. This exchange that antagonizes an animal:

34. This comment that brought the people together:

35. This deliciously clever response:

36. This decadent debate:

37. This (un)fortunate response:

38. This comeback, coming for your childhood:

39. This epic exchange:

40. This beautifully accented burn:

41. This thread that totally applies logic:

42. This relatable retort that is making you check your phone right now:

43. This response, in the name of defending animal mascots:

44. This crush-ing comeback:

45. This multilayered response:

46. This response that is just good math:

47. This comeback that is Sheer(an) genius:

48. This thread, with a scrumptious spellcheck:

49. This burn of many sizes:

50. This response by a user now taking personal requests:

51. This burn that keeps on burning:

Oof. That burn needs some love. from clevercomebacks

52. This electrifying burn:

Elon Musk has a son?? from clevercomebacks

53. This horrifyingly accurate comeback:

“How THIS Millennial Paid off His Student Loans By Playing Children’s Games.” from clevercomebacks

54. This response that is just a good life lesson:

If somebody is giving you a fake number… from clevercomebacks

55. This response, rich in good points:

Just blame the poor!! from clevercomebacks

56. This burn that probably ruffled someone's feathers:

Pretty good clapback from clevercomebacks

57. This comeback that speaks for a generation:

Let’s try again from clevercomebacks

58. This unequivocal burn that points out systemic inequality:

I mean, he's not wrong .. from clevercomebacks

59. This burn, baby, burn:

He makes a good point from clevercomebacks

60. This burn filled with internet-era irony:

Check yourself before you come for others from clevercomebacks

61. This *sick* burn:

my asian ass been eating leftover rice n dishes made by my mom, im doing just fine fam. dont bullshit https://t.co/9ZyaQxTr9C

@axzrule 06:16 AM - 31 Oct 2017

62. This comeback that shows the importance of those magic words:

Who orders small coffee anyway? from clevercomebacks

63. This apocalyptically epic comeback:

It was social distancing haha from clevercomebacks

64. This remark with a religious exemption:

You’re not wrong… from clevercomebacks

65. This comeback that probably will cause him to wear masks again:

I'd expect no less at Dollar General. from MurderedByWords

66. This god-awful burn:

Some weirdo from my rural hometown on a post about abortion from quityourbullshit

67. This comeback that will make someone get their vision checked:

i see a sad pig too from clevercomebacks

68. This burn that cites history as its witness:

throwback from facepalm

69. This record-breaking response:

Someone get the Guinness Book of World Records on the phone. from facepalm

70. This comeback by a consent hero:

This comeback belongs in the hall of fame from MurderedByWords

71. This burn by a bookworm:

It's a new concept from facepalm

72. This subtle burn to a competitor — we definitely don't know which one:

Nando’s new sign after a Chick-fil-a opened next door. from clevercomebacks

73. This callout that should go *viral*:

Flameproofing? But my house isn't on fire! from clevercomebacks

74. This response that puts pets first:

"Markets unable to adapt to new generation of consumers" from clevercomebacks

75. This burn that doesn't require a calculator:

Simple math to hard from clevercomebacks

76. This good Christian comeback:

So, what did you do for Easter? from clevercomebacks

77. This response that got personal:

Calling brave volunteers idiots, the nerve from clevercomebacks

78. This spirited comeback:

New New testament from clevercomebacks

79. This eye-for-an-eye exchange:

Only in Santa Clarita from clevercomebacks

80. This response for the win:

Bit rich coming from a club that hasn't delivered since 1992... https://t.co/v2R2fLhcNq

@pizzahutuk 03:01 PM - 17 Jan 2019

81. This very well-earned burn:

I swear it was on from clevercomebacks

82. This response that rained on someone's parade:

I didn't know that untill now from clevercomebacks

83. This response is just so simple, yet brilliant:

He's got a point from clevercomebacks

84. This response that shouldn't need to be said:

@d__rob12 Just following the guidelines advised by the organization made up of individuals who have dedicated their entire lives to studying diseases and how to control and prevent them. I promise they know more than you.

@I_AM_WILDCAT 12:54 AM - 16 Mar 2020

85. This more-than-fair comeback:

Accessible parking, but only during office hours. from clevercomebacks

86. This hilarious response:

He took out 5 people with 1 word. from MurderedByWords

87. This Whitney quip:

True perfection has been achieved from clevercomebacks

88. This response that was just electric:

Kid has a bright and shocking future in front of him. from clevercomebacks

89. This burn that honestly kind of makes you hungry for Wendy's:

looks like they got them there from clevercomebacks

90. This unchivalrous comeback:

He's not wrong from clevercomebacks

91. This reaction that will make you want to brush up on some light reading:

God vs Humanity from MurderedByWords

92. This bookish burn:

The double oo education from clevercomebacks

93. This response that begs one to pardon her French:

Finnally a manager making a comeback. from clevercomebacks

94. This honest comeback:

Walmart:can you pleasestop stealingfrom us?: Me: no 🥺 😎👉👈 💪🥋🤙 👖 /🍆\👞🧦 👟 👟

@chaselyons 09:38 PM - 25 Feb 2020

95. This very-much-needed reply:

He did spell it wrong from clevercomebacks

96. This really rude retort:

damn😂 from HolUp

97. This thread that puts everyone in their place:

Honesty is the best policy from clevercomebacks

98. This burn that is extremely relatable:

Tell her what she's won, Johnny! from MurderedByWords

99. This cringeworthy comeback:

@fakeleny It’s called food

@difficultdean 04:37 PM - 11 Sep 2020

100. This response with a strategy:

In this together from clevercomebacks

101. This thread with artistic flair:

102. This unmasked gem of a response:

On a thread about wearing masks from clevercomebacks

103. This burn that got appropriately personal:

Ooof and well asked for. from clevercomebacks

104. This burn that includes a Bunsen burner:

A Moron and a Microbiologist Comment on a COVID-19 Article... from clevercomebacks

105. This child-size comeback that packs a punch:

Children are savages from MurderedByWords

106. This response that points to a historic problem:

@IndieWire Nothing more appropriate to honor the Jurassic Park legacy than opening before you should

@kfsrhn 01:33 AM - 16 Jun 2020

107. This comeback that makes you think:

Or, she's a really shitty driver. from ReallyAmerican

108. This burn that deserves a chef's kiss:

Dominance asserted from clevercomebacks

109. This delicious McComeback:

it was 1997 i was outside McDonald's on Queen St age 15, an old lady barked "speak English" at a pair of young Korean men and without missing a beat one of them goes "OOooo i want a nice cup of TEA look at ME I'm ENGLISH i want to eat PLAIN TOAST" i miss him every single day

@Ahhmandah 08:06 PM - 04 Jun 2019

110. This brutal burn:

In a post about “man up” being an insult. from clevercomebacks

111. This comeback that proves mothers do know best:

Mom 2 seconds after giving me a task https://t.co/R4yrRkQgA4

@poisonaavi 01:46 PM - 10 Mar 2018

This article contains content from Dave Stopera, Mike Spohr, Cates Holderness, Tessa Fahey, Daniella Emanuel, and Andy Golder. It was compiled by Kelly Rissman.

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