This is Ser Criston Cole.
Now, if you're all caught up on House of the Dragon, then you already know what a steaming pile of hot GARBAGE this dude is.
Here's a brief refresher on his many crimes:
🚨 Spoilers ahead, including for Episode 6!!! 🚨
Basically, Criston and Princess Rhaenyra slept together because she was all bummed about Daemon (her uncle, BTW) rejecting her. Plus, Criston looks...well, like that. Basically, he was just there — it was a hookup!
But then Rhaenyra's father, King Viserys, arranges a marriage between her and her cousin, Laenor Velaryon. The marriage is a total political move and nothing more. In fact, Laenor is actually gay, so Rhaenyra proposes that the two of them subscribe to their duties to the throne but keep, uh, seeing their side pieces.
But Criston is all, "Babe, why can't we run away together and marry for LOVE?" And Rhaenyra is like, "Do you not understand that I'm supposed to be heir and that the entire lineage is at stake here?"
So, Rhaenyra goes through with her wedding to Laenor. And then Criston KILLS LAENOR'S LOVER AT THE WEDDING.
Now, flash forward to after the time jump in this week's episode — 10 years have gone by, and Criston is STILL not over Rhaenyra. Dude. Dude. IT WAS A ONE-NIGHT STAND.
Any-freaking-ways!!! He sucks. Here are a bunch of tweets about how Criston Cole is simply ✨ the worst ✨:
1.
men are soo #HouseOfTheDragon
2.
Criston Cole pathetic fr, all these theatrics over a one night stand. I’ve never seen anything this mad #HouseOfTheDragon
3.
Thank you Ser Harwin for beating Criston’s ass 👏🏽 #HouseOfTheDragon
4.
the fact that’s it’s been TEN (10) years and criston cole is still screaming crying throwing up when anybody mentions rhaenyra
5.
Ser Criston Cole is out his mind. Y'all had one booty call and you want her to give up her entire life for you??? #HouseOfTheDragon
6.
10 years had passed and ser criston cole continues to be bitter with rhaenyra.. #HouseOfTheDragon
7.
so harwin cant punch someone without losing everything but criston can literally murder someone in front of the royal family and be promoted?!?!? i cant stand the greens fr #HouseOfTheDragon #HouseoftheDragonHBO
8.
criston cole possibly the funniest character ever put on screen. randomly spouting disney villain monologues at every opportunity standing around radiating sociopathic rage trying to explode everyone in the red keep with his mind beams
9.
Us defending Daemon with whatever toxic shit he does VS us with Ser Criston acting out once #HouseOfTheDragon #HouseOfTheDragonEp5
10.
Ser Criston really does act like the guys who insult you after being rejected #HouseOfTheDragon
11.
Me watching Ser Harwin Strong beat the fuck out of Criston Cole #HouseOfTheDragon
12.
Everyone to Ser Criston when he admitted to Alicent he slept with Rhaenyra when she didn't even suspect him. #HouseOfTheDragonHBO #HouseOftheDragon #hotd
13.
#HouseOfTheDragon #hotd Ser Criston: pick me, choose me, love me Rhaenyra:
14.
criston cole first ever recorded incel in asoiaf history gets rejected once and starts a coup
15.
Sir Crispin after Rhaenyra said no to his marriage proposal and choose the throne instead of running away to sell fruit in fucking Essos!!! #HouseOfTheDragon #CristonCole
16.
they started the day off so happy and had to get married in tears all because criston fucking cole had to have an incel temper tantrum… he’s my worst enemy #houseofthedragon
17.
#houseofthedragon joffrey lonmouth: *exists* criston cole:
18.
criston cole homophobic spread the word
19.
Criston Cole hit it once and thinks that he walks on water like be fucking forreal #HouseOfTheDragon
20.
criston was so out of line calling rhaenyra a ‘spoiled cunt’ even alicent fucking hightower had to stop and glare… men are actually irredeemable
21. And finally:
Checked in with my feelings this morning and I still hate Criston Cole, who is the worst and sucks.
Ser Criston Cole, you are simply:
