Kelly Ripa recalls jab from Regis Philbin before her first Live show: 'I felt horrible'

Kelly Ripa is looking back at her complicated relationship with former co-host Regis Philbin.

The actress and TV host recounts her early days on Live With Regis and Kelly in her book Live Wire: Long-Winded Short Stories. According to Ripa, the excerpts about Philbin were "the hardest chapter to write."

Between 2001 and 2011, when she co-hosted the popular talk show with Philbin, there were "good and bad days," Ripa tells PEOPLE in a cover story published Monday. "I don't want to feel like I'm slamming anyone or that I'm being disrespectful. But I also want people to know it was not a cakewalk."

"It took years to earn my place there and earn things that are routinely given to the men I worked with," Ripa continues. "Including an office and a place to put my computer."

Following the departure of Philbin's former co-host Kathie Lee Gifford, Ripa's agent called her with an offer to co-host. By that time, she had already served as a guest co-host three times and was told repeatedly that the ABC program was not looking for someone permanent. The offer came with a warning, according to Ripa: "They want you to know who your boss is," she says, referring to the late Philbin. "It was very ominous, and it did not feel good."

Ripa recalls an exchange with Philbin, noting that the show didn't want her "bringing an entourage." She recounts, "I came with hair and makeup. It was not an unusual thing for people on a television show to show up with." Moments before she walked onstage, Philbin greeted her and executive producer Michael Gelman with, "Uh-oh, Gelman, it's got an entourage."

"I felt horrible," Ripa shares. "He was probably trying to be funny, but at the same time it felt like a pile-on. I understand that probably he didn't want a co-host, but the network wanted me to be the co-host and I didn't think I should pass up that opportunity. I don't think it was fair to him. But it was also not fair to me."

Despite the rough times, Ripa looks back at her time with Philbin, who died in July 2020 at age 88, with fondness. "Off camera and outside of that building, it was a different thing," she says. "The handful of times we spent together, I so enjoyed. We went to the same resort once on vacation and he came to a dinner I hosted — one of the favorite nights of my life. I never laughed so hard."

"If I could become a tenth as good, I'd be happy," she says. "It's taking the audience on a ride with you and remembering that you are always the butt of the joke. I loved him, and I still do."

Live Wire: Long-Winded Short Stories is out Sept. 27.

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