Satire by Swan City News
Immediately thrown into the proverbial local inane political inferno during her first week on the job, airport director Kris Hallstrand has been inundated with complaints from Polk County Amazon customers. Their complaints center on fears of delayed Amazon Prime deliveries as the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) ramps up their Hurricane Hunter flight activity in and out of Lakeland Linder International Airport (LAL) to evaluate the severity of what will likely become Hurricane Ian.
Beacon Hill resident Charlene Harris is extremely concerned about her Keurig water filters which was guaranteed to be delivered no later than Tuesday morning at 8:00 a.m. Mrs. Harris exclaimed to our SCN correspondent while slamming her door, “I don’t care about imminent danger, measurements of pressure, humidity, temperature, wind direction and speed. My family needs our coffee filters!”
As always, Amazon was unavailable for comment. Fortunately, Joe Cantore was able to provide a brief comment as he checked into the Lakeland Swan Hotel. “While I sympathize with the Harris family’s need for a quality cup of coffee, I think Lakeland residents should be more concerned about how this storm might impact the timely return of the city’s royal swans back to England per the recent decree of King Charles III.”
One would hope that that complaint would be in jest. The Hurricane Surveillance flights ate no sightse adventures. They save life’s while the pilots and technicians put there’s on the line for ALL OFF THE PEOPLE POSSIBLY AFFECTED by this,or any ,hurricane. shame on you . Never thought I would see such selfishness.