Satire by Swan City News
In a startling turn of events, one of King Charles III’s first acts as the reigning King was one of defiance as he demanded that the City of Lakeland “return to England all descendants of the Monarchy’s Royal Flock of swans loaned to the City in 1957.” The King’s decree further states that he is “simply requesting the descendants so that his subjects may also enjoy them in all of the muted majesties of their homeland” in the wake of the end of the Queen’s 70-year reign.
When reached for comment, Lakeland Swan Czar Anderson Whitlock indicated that “Lakeland and its residents will deeply miss our royal feathered friends.” In order to comply with the decree, the Parks and Recreation department will first have to determine which swans are of royal lineage by conducting costly avian paternity tests. Once that is established, they will promptly be transported back to their native land.
Upon learning of the King’s demand, Governor Ron DeSantis’ office issued a press release offering to help defray the financial impact on the City’s taxpayers by providing funds from the $12 million in the state budget allocated to relocate migrants from the state. “These freeloading interloping fowl have been living off the taxpayers’ dime for over 60 years and it is time for them to go. We will gladly charter planes and unceremoniously drop them off at the front steps of Buckingham Palace.” The City Commission has since declined the Governor’s offer based on a windfall to city coffers thanks to the recent fuel charge increases at Lakeland Electric.
DeathSantis, why so bitter about the swans? They were just loaned to Lakeland. Grumpy old man!
NO NO NO —-Queen Elizabeth gifted the swans to Lakeland. Tell The now King To take a flight leap of is high horse. By some chance they are sent to him make sure a detailed invoice is sent showing the yearly cost to feed and take care of their health. I have never liked Charlie and not I even like him less. Are we going to give him back the colonies as well if he demands?
This is parady, you dolts! Parody or not, dear author Charles has NOT been crowned yet.
Karen … Why do so many people insist on calling others names, e.g., dolts. Where has common courtesy gone?
Shame on Charles III !
Why would such a small and so distant a subject of relocation loved and ever-so-cared-for swans from a very small town in another part of the world be of great importance to a newly appointed King of an entire country across the ocean who has no genuine connection to these specific feathered friends as we do? It makes no sense in the least.
Did you actually read the WHOLE satire story?
Yes
Are we all being punked? Sounds ludicrous to me.
Charles is a fool. Hasn’t been the King for two weeks and he’s removing swans gifted by his mother who would be ashamed of his actions.
You must have not read the first word in the story. SATIRE
look what Biden did to his own country with the swip of his pen first day in office. Closed the pipe line, stopped building the boarder wall and opened the boarder. It’s power going straight to their empty heads. SHAME, SHAME
Those Swans died a long time ago. The currents swans are flogrown!😅
You mean you can take care of the swans, but you can not take care of you son Harry? Maybe you should not be crownded as king. William anyway makes a better king. Love the Queen of england