Subject: Why does he keep me around?
Dear Steve and Shirley, my husband and I have been married for 14 years and we’re hanging on by a thread. We have two children and sometimes I wonder if that’s why he stays with me. We never talk about our problems. Things have happened in our marriage that would make a normal couple split up, but we’re not normal. At our wedding, one of his exes showed up and cried loudly while we said our vows. She was escorted out and he apologized to me on the alter. It was supposed to be the happiest day of my life but it was ruined. That was the first red flag and over the years, he kept me guessing about her. During our 10th year of marriage, I had an accident one night and the EMTs called my husband. I was in the car with my boyfriend and he was pinned in the car, so that’s the night my husband found out I was having an affair. My husband never asked me one question about my affair, but he did make a joke about being at the wrong place at the wrong time. After my accident, there were nights that my husband did not come home and didn’t call me. I felt like I could not say a word because I was full of so much guilt for getting caught cheating. We still have sex and act like a loving couple in, and outside of our house for the sake of the kids but he does sleep in a separate room and said it’s because he snores. I will take the snoring and the talking in his sleep, just to feel his body next to mine in the bed. I have no idea what’s going on in his head. It would have been easier if he had yelled, screamed, or cursed me out four years ago. I wonder if he still loves me or not or if he’s got a woman on the side. Is he with his ex that ruined our wedding? Why does he keep me around?