You Know I'm Right: Granville needs to address the smell

Granville stinks. Fortunately only in two places that I know of; one is near the entrance to Bryn Du Woods on Newark-Granville Road and the other is near the entrance to the Denison Golf Club. I was sitting on the (thankfully recently rejuvenated) patio of Denison’s Granville Inn with my Loving Wife of Some 40 years (LWOS40yrs) and my daughter, a graduate of Granville High School, when the topic of the imminent Intel invasion came up.

Daughter #1 said it was strange that after over 25 years of us living in and out of Granville, no one had taken it upon themselves to eliminate the nasty sewage smell that is particularly pungent in the summer but lingers year around. It appears to be coming from the two locations I mentioned where there is some sort of pumping mechanism. I suppose the native Granvillians who date themselves to the founding of our village have become so used to the smell that they don’t even notice. We first-generation Granvillians have been too polite to mention it because we didn’t want to annoy the real locals. But with the Intel folks sniffing around, it may be time to tackle the stink.   

Supposing you have recently been assigned to a position at Intel and you are looking for a place to live within commuting distance of the new facility. All of the small communities in our county have their charm. We like the coffee shop in Alexandria when we are on our bikes and as a former military person I am always very impressed by the two howitzers in front of Johnstown City Hall. (Heath also has a community howitzer. Nothing says God Bless America like a howitzer unless it is an F-4 Phantom II fighter-bomber like the one displayed at the Newark airport.) But I digress. Granville is just a cut above the other Licking County small towns even though we don’t have any military hardware on display. (To be fair, we do have a newly dedicated memorial at the cemetery that is very tasteful and greatly appreciated by our patriotic citizens but I personally would have suggested a tank, a giant aircraft carrier anchor, an ICBM [deactivated], or a statue of a Marine storming the beach if I had been asked. I wasn’t.) But I digress again. 

Granville has everything an Intel higher up would like to see in a community: great schools, a wonderful bike trail, Three Tigers, a spectacular Fourth of July parade, downtown dining on the sidewalk, a superb library, the aforementioned college, the Bryn Du Mansion in case your kid is getting married, and a slug of coffee shops. (I prefer Village Coffee although it is nice to have a choice, but I digress once again. Sorry.) However, if the prospective new citizen happens to drive down Newark-Granville road in his or her open top Jaguar, Bentley, or Corvette and gets hit with that smell, game over. Said Intel hotshot will immediately head for Buckeye Lake or some other exotic locale. 

So I think it is time to act. Let’s put our noses together and set up a committee with representation from all who hold Granville dear and who want to get our share of the Intel largess. I suggest we call the resulting group THE Granville Address the Stink (GAS) Committee and get to work before it is too late.  This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to make our Village smell as good as it looks. Let the Village Council know if you are willing to help. You know I’m right.

Don Haven is a retired Naval Officer and retired high school history teacher who resides in Granville. He can be reached at donrichardhaven@gmail.com.