Mom Backed for Telling Ex To Cancel Trip To Care for Son: 'Too Bad'

The internet has backed a mom who forced her ex to cancel his business trip to care for their son.

In a post on the popular r/AmITheA**hole forum, user u/athena989 shared the story which has since received thousands of upvotes and hundreds of comments.

Living apart, the couple co-parent their child and the mom explained that they usually would have a nanny, named Cora.

Co-parenting refers to when parenting is shared between two parental figures who are living apart. Whether divorced or never married, they don't have romantic involvement but will work together to raise shared children.

Child playing and couple argue
A stock image of a young child playing with toys, left, and a file photo of a man and woman arguing, right. The internet has backed a mom who told her ex he would have... Daria Nipot/GeorgeRudy/Getty Images

A 2014 study estimated that while 60 percent of children in the U.S. live with married biological parents, the other 40 percent live in a variety of situations, many of which include co-parenting.

Issues arose with the childcare arrangements when nanny Cora quit her job—a move that the Redditor says was the fault of her ex's girlfriend.

She explained: "I had a nanny, Cora, who worked for both myself and my ex. While my ex paid her, he left most of the decisions about her employment and how she would care for our son to me.

"Cora asked me if it would be okay if she could bring her niece with her to work while she cares for my son as her sister was in the hospital. Her niece and my son are both close in age, so I thought it would be nice for him to have a child to play with and Cora has honestly been a lifesaver for the two years she worked for us."

But issues arose when the nanny arrived to work with her niece: "Cora called me to tell me she was quitting," explained the mom: "My ex's girlfriend told her she couldn't bring her niece into his house even after Cora had told her I had said it was fine. I tried to convince Cora not to quit but she said the girlfriend spoke to her so rudely that she couldn't continue working for us."

Furious that her nanny had been forced to quit, the mom called her ex who agreed that his girlfriend was in the wrong. But when she told him that it would mean he needed to cancel an upcoming business trip to cover the childcare, he was upset.

"He told me he couldn't just cancel as the trip was important, but I was annoyed so I told him that was too bad and it was a good thing he was his own boss then because he had to watch our son," wrote the Redditor.

The argument caused upset all around, as the poster later explained her ex's sister had told her that he broke up with his girlfriend in front of everybody after their conversation. Feeling unsure if she had done the right thing, she turned to the internet and asked AITA (Am I the a**hole)?

But Reddit users quickly rushed to side with the mom. In one comment with more than 9,000 upvotes, a user wrote: "NTA (not the a**hole). His childcare was lost due to his girlfriend and he is responsible for finding backup childcare during his parenting time. Most parents have to schedule their business travel when their children aren't with them if they don't have alternative care. So he needs to parent."

Another reply simply said: "Your ex's girlfriend caused the nanny to quit. Therefore your ex needs to find a solution."

"Hopefully your nanny can come back now that the girlfriend is gone," said one Reddit user. The mom later shared in an update that: "I'll definitely try to get Cora back again if she hasn't already found another family."

Newsweek reached out to u/athena989 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

About the writer


Alice Gibbs is a Newsweek Senior Internet Trends & Culture Reporter based in the U.K. For the last two years ... Read more

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