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Jeremy Pruitt explained a lot of things to Nick Saban

While he’s the greatest college football coach ever, it turns out Saban missed a few things along the way.

CFP National Championship presented by AT&T - Alabama v Georgia Photo by Scott Cunningham/Getty Images

On Monday, the world learned that Nick Saban, at one point in his adult life, did not know what Zaxby’s is. Even more shocking, the person who provided him with chicken finger and Zalad enlightenment was none other than Jeremy Pruitt, the former Alabama assistant and Tennessee head coach, who did not know what asparagus was at one point in his adult life.

From A-L DOT COM’s John Talty:

Pruitt, in an attempt to educate Saban about the Zaxby’s dining experience, described it as follows:

The main takeaways from this interaction are Saban lives on another planet and commutes each day via UFO, and Pruitt explains things about as well as he does at avoiding double-digit Level I recruiting violations.

If you’re wondering what a Nick Saban/Jeremy Pruitt interaction has to do with Ole Miss, the answer is nothing because [taps sign saying it is the last week of July], and the July Content Train™ grinds accordingly. However, there COULD be a connection because Oxford does have a Zaxby’s that, according to this, has been around since at least 2007.

Pruitt worked at Alabama from 2007-12, as well as 2016-17, so maybe? If you’re waiting for the sentences where I mention the high-profile recruits in the area during that time, you have come to the wrong place. We ain’t come here to play look up recruits from over a decade ago.

What we have come here to play is other scenarios in which the former coworkers are back in a car and driving around. Saban is introduced to things he’s never heard of before, and Jeremy Pruitt attempts to offer clarity in his bless his heart kind of way.

Vices

Saban: What’s that?

Pruitt: It’s a vape pen.

Saban: What the f#ck is a vape pen?

Pruitt: It’s like a safer cigarette where you smoke electricity.

Vices, Part II

Pruitt: You wanna go in on some Mega Millions tickets together, Coach?

Saban: What the f#ck is Mega Millions?

Pruitt: It’s like a game where you can win money but there’s only about a 3 percent chance you’ll win.

The Magic City

Saban: What’s going on at Legion Field?

Pruitt: They’re playing the Birmingham Bowl.

Saban: What the f#ck is the Birmingham Bowl?

Pruitt: It’s like a bowl game that can get you to seven wins and in good favor with your alumni.

Saban: What the f#ck are seven wins?

Pruitt: It’s like if you’re poor or taking over for Mike Shula.

Social Media

Pruitt: Coach, we should do a TikTok of us in the car together.

Saban: What the f#ck is a TikTok?

Pruitt: It’s like a really funny and secure social media thing run by smart tech people in America.

Financial Investments

Pruitt: Coach, do you have any crypto?

Saban: What the f#ck is crypto?

Pruitt: It’s like pictures of apes and stuff and electronic money tokens that look like the game tokens at Chuck E. Cheese.

The Magic City, Part II

Pruitt: Samford’s campus looks nice.

Saban: What the f#ck is Samford?

Pruitt: It’s like a Harvard or Yale but for Baptists.

The Beautiful Game

Pruitt: Coach, look, that’s where Nashville FC plays.

Saban: What the f#ck is Nashville FC?

Pruitt: They’re a team in the MLS.

Saban: What the f#ck is MLS?

Pruitt: It’s like the Premiere League but everyone is American.

On Campus

Saban: Is that a gym?

Pruitt: Yes, it’s where the Alabama basketball teams play.

Saban: What the f#ck is Alabama basketball?

Pruitt: It’s like basketball for bored people.

Streaming

Saban: What are you looking at on your phone?

Pruitt: I’m watching NCIS.

Saban: What the f#ck is NCIS?

Pruitt: It’s like a show about solving crimes in the Navy, but they never get on boats or talk about Top Gun.

Literature

Saban: What are you reading?

Pruitt: Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard.

Saban: What the f#ck is Dianetics?

Pruitt: It’s like a book about pseudoscience and stuff, like the start of Scientology.

Saban: What the f#ck is Scientology?

Pruitt: It’s like a weird space religion and time travel thing. I don’t know, ask Coach Harsin.