OPINION

Charita M. Goshay: Macy Gray, Bette Midler caught in a cultural conundrum

Charita M. Goshay
The Repository
Macy

The beauty of language is its fluidity.

 In 1916, the poet Carl Sandburg wrote:

"There are no handles upon a language

Whereby men take hold of it

And mark it with signs for its remembrance.

It is a river, this language,

Once in a thousand years

Breaking a new course.."

But Sandburg doesn't live in America in 2022. 

Last week, Canton-born, Grammy-winning singer Macy Gray and legendary performer Bette Midler found themselves fighting off accusations of being transphobic. In an interview with the BBC, Gray said: “I will say this and everyone’s gonna hate me, but as a woman, just because you go change your parts, doesn’t make you a woman, sorry … I know that for a fact. Like, if you want me to call you a ‘her,’ I will, ‘cause that’s what you want, but that doesn’t make you a woman just ‘cause I call you a ‘her.’ “

Hoo boy...

More:Bette Midler, Macy Gray hit back on inclusive phrasing: Why it's deemed transphobic

Days later, a more careful and contrite Gray told "Today Show" cohost Hoda Kotb: 'I’ve learned a lot through this. So I think that was one of the reasons that it happened. It was a huge learning experience for me. You can call yourself whoever you believe you are and nobody can dictate that for you or take that away from you."

Midler, an LGBTQ+ icon decades before it was cool, was dinged for a tweet in which she worried that women were being erased in conversations about gender inclusiveness:

"Women of the world! We are being stripped of our rights over our bodies, our lives and even of our name! They don’t call us 'women' anymore; they call us 'birthing people' or 'menstruators,' and even 'people with vaginas'! Don’t let them erase you! Every human on earth owes you!"

Many people who have no desire to hurt others are confused about how to navigate a very complicated issue because the rules and definitions of what can or shouldn't be said seem to be constantly changing.

Some of it is clunky, complicated, and lays waste to everything we've been taught about grammar. 

There also are people who will never believe that transsexuality, homosexuality or gender fluidity are valid. However, that doesn't give anyone license to ever mistreat or endanger the lives of those who may believe that gender isn't engraved in stone. 

The premise of this country is one that makes room for Americans of all beliefs and backgrounds, one in which diversity is our superpower – not a threat.

The culture changes

A person being transsexual or gay or nonbinary has no bearing on their full and immutable worth as a human being.

But cancelling those who may just be trying to figure it all out only causes resentment and does not move us forward.

The situation is a reminder that every now and then, the culture lurches forward and it takes  time to catch up to it.

The Elvis of 1956 was too Black for some white people.

American fathers where aghast when the Beatles conquered their daughters with three chords and a haircut.

David Bowie's androgynous style in the midst of the polyester-plaid 1970s was seismic, and it still reverberates.

Forty-two years after "Rapper's Delight," the genre still scares and annoys a lot of people, and we have yet to fully understand how social media will impact civilization.

More:Canton mayor kicks off inaugural Stark Pride Festival: 'Baby, you were born this way!'

In time, we've gone from homosexuality being illegal, to a majority of Americans supporting same-sex marriage.

We know that the discrimination, violence and harassment inflicted upon nontraditional people stems from fear. Because fear has the power to distort, it has led to ridiculous accusations of "grooming" aimed at anyone who doesn't adhere to certain social, religious or political orthodoxies.

Unfamiliar waters

Some conservatives still are steaming over Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson's refusal to take the bait during her confirmation hearing as to how she defines a "woman."

Well, we know what a woman is:

• Some say a woman is a human being who doesn't have autonomy over her own body.

• A woman is a person for which a gender-specific constitutional amendment was required in order for her to exercise her natural birthright, to vote.

• A woman is a person who likely earns 82 cents on the dollar   for doing the same job as a man.

• A woman is the one who still bears the most responsibility in child-rearing, and is the person most likely to be living in poverty with that child.

• A woman is a person frequently required to defend her clothing and social choices when she is sexually assaulted.

• A woman is a human who doesn't get to coast on mediocrity by virtue of her gender.

• A woman is the being who most bears the cruelty of the world.

It's said that the Puritans fled England because of religious persecution when in truth, they were so intolerant of others' views, they practically were pushed onto the boat. Once in America, they foisted their religious standards on everyone else, but dogmatism was never going to last in a new land where reinvention was a feature, not a bug.

Like those pilgrims, we are in unfamiliar waters, only ours requires patience, nuance and mutual respect.

Reach Charita at 330-580-8313 or charita.goshay@cantonrep.com. On Twitter: @cgoshayREP.

Charita M. Goshay