(EDITOR’S NOTE: “This Is Pride” is a series of profiles and portraits featuring Staten Islanders who made history as part of the borough’s LGBTQ+ pride movement and important members of the community. If you have someone you would like to nominate for “This is Pride,” e-mail their name and a brief nomination to tips@siadvance.com.)
STATEN ISLAND,N.Y. -- During a 2016 Staten Island town hall, Rose Uscianowski, 33, approached Dr. Ben Carson -- who, at the time, was a Republican presidential candidate -- to make it clear she didn’t appreciate his stance on LGBTQ+ issues.
She said: “Do you think I chose to be gay?”
“That’s a long conversation,” Carson said.
“I think you’re full of s---,” Uscianowski responded before smiling and walking away.
The exchange, which was captured by the media, was the focus of news reports at the time.
But in an exclusive interview with the Advance/SILive.com following the incident, Uscianowski, who works as the Staten Island and South Brooklyn organizer for Transportation Alternatives, said that she didn’t confront Carson for the publicity.
“The reason was to let him know that I was born gay and that being gay is not a choice; it’s natural,” she said. “I wanted to make it personal by putting a face to the issue.”
Since then, Uscianowski has become known as an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community. She has volunteered her time at the Pride Center of Staten Island, is an active member of Staten Island Women Who March, and continues to speak out about “what still needs to be done,” including creating safe streets -- especially for the LGBTQ+ community. In her work with Transportation Alternatives, she has become part of the fight for land-use policies that promote and allow for “a walkable, bikeable, equitable and public transit driven city.”
“LGBTQ+ individuals are among the most likely to face street harassment ranging from catcalls to stares, to stalking to violence, but keeping the streets safe does not have to mean adding more cops. Inviting streets are self-policing,” she said. “A more inviting streetscape will not magically transform human nature, however, it can change behavior.”
As part of The Staten Island Advance/SILive.com’s “This Is Pride” series, we asked Uscianowsk her thoughts on the following questions:
What does it mean to be an LGBTQ+ Staten Islander?
“To be LGBTQ+ in Staten Island is to be LGBTQ+ anywhere and it means living life on a stage that you never built, but are constantly asked to perform on. It means living multiple lives. The winter life comes to mind first. This is a life of uneasy stares and outright questions directed my way when I use a public bathroom. It is a life of taps on my shoulder by giggling teenagers asking if I am a dude “or what?” Winter life is a life where a simple coat and a cap render me genderless to the public eye. And here is the thing: people do not trust what they cannot label or define.
The summer months are a different battle. The slight curves of my otherwise boyish body create a definition I never chose. My cap becomes ‘cute.’ All other items of confusion are tied in a bow and answered by the word ‘millennial,’ which may as well be its own gender according to the inquiring minds of the public.
Now giggles and side stares turn into whistles, kissing sounds, and the ever-present, ‘smile, honey!’ as if a bodily command should be taken as a compliment. Fall and spring are just mixtures of the above.”
Q: What does Pride mean to you?
“I am going to preface my answer with a deep sigh here. Pride is the political power derived from performed identity. Let me break it down:
Pride, in part, is pure performance. It is the Pride they sell to you in store windows and on television shows. It revolves around rainbows, glitter, flags, voguing, strutting and everything else that cannot be ignored.
Beneath the explosion of colors and movement is the exhaustive need for it. It is up to us to pave the way for those who must still live in secret. For them, we must be loud. It is also up to us to fight - always. Our most basic rights -- to marriage, legal adoption, legal inheritance, and even the right to be covered by our partner’s health insurance plan -- will always be under attack. Pride is a way of fighting back.
For those of us who don’t have a law degree, or the privilege to march on state halls each time a threat comes along, what we can do is arm ourselves with the armor we have. That armor is our visibility. Some of us can fight and shout in the street. Those who cannot fight can be present, proud and visible. Hate happens in the dark. There is no better way to fight it than to stay in the light. If visibility sometimes means dancing in the street while covered in glitter, that just means our battle cry comes with added perks.”
What do you love about being a Staten Islander?
“Honestly, it’s that subtle look of confusion and eyebrow raise I always seem to get when somebody finds out I am from Staten Island. It can be like telling somebody I am from the lost city of Atlantis. All you need to do is be a Staten Islander among folks who are not and suddenly you become the ‘Staten Island whisperer.’ I find it hilarious. Jokes aside, there is incredible power in being from the ‘forgotten borough.’ For every person you meet who only knows Staten Island from the Page 6 headlines, you are the person who can change the narrative in their mind. You have the power to introduce them to a Staten Island that they never knew existed. Underneath those headlines, Staten Island is a place with stunning natural beauty, incredible diversity, great food, an eclectic art scene, and a community of support that makes my borough feel like home. I love introducing people to that.”
What still needs to be done?
“A million things to begin with, but I will focus on something close to my heart:
We need to create public spaces that are safer and more welcoming for everyone. ...Streets that are clean, well-lit, walkable and bikeable, with adequate shade and pedestrian plazas -- in other words, streets that feel comfortable are also safe. They invite what the late great Jane Jacobs would term ‘eyes on the street,’ which is to say: people! They are the streets where older residents go for a stroll, parents walk their kids to school, neighbors walk their dogs, kids play on the sidewalk, and folks sit down and take work meetings outside in the sun. They are not the types of streets where you hear whistles or kissing sounds or yells of ‘get off the sidewalk, you he/she b___h!’ People create safety, and inviting spaces bring people.
Creating streets like this does not take much: a few street trees, benches, trash cans, lamps, sidewalks that are wide enough to comfortably fit more than one or two people side by side, dedicated space for cycles on the street, and safe spaces for pedestrians to cross is enough. ‘A space for us’ should mean ‘a space for all of us’ and that space could and should be public space.”
More “This Is Pride” stories:
This Is Pride: NYC Hip Hop artist, Emil Troy, 22, finds their groove on Staten Island
This Is Pride portrait: LGBTQ+ ally works to educate and ‘open minds’ of Staten Islanders
Here’s a timeline of LGBTQ+ history on Staten Island
This Is Pride portrait: This LGBTQ+ ally designs inclusive lingerie for transgender women
This Is Pride portrait: Nicholas Robinson, an activist for HIV awareness, prevention
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