STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. – After St. George resident James Lopez’s traumatic brain injury, doctors told his wife Kim that people with her husband’s injury don’t typically wake up or recover — but she refused to accept their words.
“I told them to give me a minute, I said don’t talk to me anymore,” Lopez, 40, told the Staten Island Advance/SILive.com.
That conversation happened during the last week of April. Now in the last week of June, James is making progress — it’s slow, but it’s progress.
James, 42, had brain surgery in April to remove a non-symptomatic non-cancerous meningioma — which arises from the membranes surrounding the brain and spinal cord — that his barber discovered while cutting his hair.
The surgery and recovery couldn’t have gone smoother. He was hospitalized for one week at Staten Island University Hospital (SIUH) in Ocean Breeze before being discharged. He went back to the hospital on April 25 to have the stitches removed and was told he would need a scan every six months to ensure the meningioma didn’t grow back.
Kim said James woke her up at 4 a.m. the following morning and said he fell and hit his leg. He asked for an ice pack.
“He went and laid in the bed and he was still talking to me while using the ice pack, but he put it on his head. Then he started snoring and I was like, ‘Wow, you really fell asleep fast,’” Kim recalled.
“But then his arm started moving in this weird motion and I realized he was having a seizure,” she said.
James was rushed to Richmond University Medical Center where he had an emergency craniotomy. Once he was stabilized, James was transferred to his doctor at SIUH.
He suffered a traumatic brain injury to his thalamus and his been in a coma since — more than 50 days, and counting.
“We’re hoping that he wakes up. He shows some signs of it some days. Thalamus controls arousal, which is your awakeness, so sometimes he can open his eyes but he’s not awake. Some days his eyes are closed but he can move his left hand to commands and then other days nothing,” she said.
On Wednesday, James is being transferred to a rehab facility at NYU.
‘CAN I PRAY?’
Kim said James is an incredibly involved father to their three children Jaiden, 15, Jordan, 9, and Justin, 5.
Not only is James involved with his children’s lives, but his job is helping other Staten Island dads love fatherhood, and finding and creating activities that make meaningful memories.
James started the organization Cool4Dads, described as “a community that makes it easier to discover events that dads would love to do with their kids. We help you build meaningful memories by identifying activities that can equally be enjoyed by kids and adults in hopes of enhancing your time spent together.”
The Cool4Dads slogan is, “Being present doesn’t have to be boring!”
The Instagram page @FatherhoodIsLit shows James exploring the world with his children. He also reposts other fathers making memories with their kids.
James’ children understand what’s happening to their dad in varying degrees.
It wasn’t until James missed Justin’s kindergarten graduation that Justin realized his dad still wasn’t awake, Kim said.
“My middle son said that he watched all about comas on YouTube so he didn’t need me to explain anything to him,” she said with a laugh. “My older son, he understands and I think he was really upset at first but he saw my husband with his eyes open once and it gave him a lot of hope even though [my husband] wasn’t responsive. I tried to explain to him that we’re still not there yet, it takes time,” she said.
“But I know he’s nervous because the first time he came up [to the hospital] he said, ‘Can I pray?’ she added.
‘HE WOULD BE SO MAD AT ME’
Kim said she was reluctant to make a GoFundMe page asking for financial help with the medical bills that are beginning to pile up.
“At first, I was like this is crazy, no. And then the bills started coming and when we started planning to move him to rehab the lady told me that I’m going to need my credit card,” Kim said.
Because she’s choosing to move James to Manhattan, the ambulance ride from Staten Island won’t be covered by insurance. There are also limits on the number of days in the hospital and/or rehab facility that insurance will pay for.
The rehab facility is $2,000 per day and she was told James would need to be there for six months to one year.
So Kim decided to make the GoFundMe.
“Oh my God, he would be so mad at me,” she said. “James, he always helped everybody; this is not something he would do. He always told me all the time when you have relationships with people, you don’t waste your ask. You get one ask,” she said.
“So, while he would never ask this, I need to,” she said.
You can view James’ GoFundMe here.
FOLLOW KRISTIN F. DALTON ON TWITTER.
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