The Power of Empathy: It's Not All About You

Interacting effectively with another in any type of relationship — including work relationships — you need to have the ability to have a discussion not simply be from your own views. That's where empathy comes in. Empathy is the ability to understand and be sensitive to the feelings and experiences of others. It's a skill that has been especially critical during the pandemic as employees have dealt with a wide range of difficult life situations — from health concerns, loss of family and friends, to job losses or furloughs, to needing to teach children at home, to the uncertainty over how long this will last and what new impacts tomorrow might bring.

What Is Empathy and How Does It Differ From Sympathy?

While the terms empathy and sympathy are often used interchangeably, there is a subtle but notable difference between the two:

• Sympathy refers to understanding the feelings of someone else from your own perspective.
• Empathy refers to sharing the feelings of someone else by putting yourself in their shoes.

That distinction is especially important in the workplace where, for instance, a manager may understand why an employee's performance is suffering because of challenges relating to childcare issues, but may not be able to actually share those same feelings.

What Empathy Is Not

So empathy is not sympathy. But it is also not pity. Being empathetic doesn't mean "feeling sorry" for someone. It simply means that you can truly share in what they are feeling and why they are feeling the way they are.

Clearly, this is an important trait for anyone in a work setting to have. But it is especially important for managers and supervisors who are responsible for leading others and, ideally, for ensuring they are engaged and productive.

The Importance of Empathy in the Workplace

In many work settings, there can be a tendency for managers and supervisors to jump to conclusions or make assumptions about why employees are behaving in certain ways, or why they are or are not doing what is expected of them. The frustrations that can come from this directed toward the employee can create an even bigger divide between the two. Those assumptions are often incorrect and can lead to dissatisfaction, disengagement and, in some cases, problematic turnover.

During the pandemic, Catalyst conducted a study based on input from about 900 U.S. employees across various industries in an attempt to understand how empathetic leadership impacts innovation, engagement and inclusion. Their key takeaway: "Empathy is a must-have in today's workplace." They say: "Our current research shows that cultivating empathic leadership is an effective strategy to respond to crisis with the heart and authenticity that many employees crave—and boost productivity."

In an environment marked by what is being called the "Great Resignation," employers are particularly concerned about ensuring employees are engaged and unlikely to leave the organization. Empathy — or understanding — can go a long way toward creating an engaging environment where employees will be satisfied and loyal.

Of course, being empathetic may not come naturally to everyone. It's a skill that needs to be developed and nurtured.

Improving Your Ability To Empathize With Others

As with the development of any skill, the first step is recognizing that you need to work on your ability to be empathetic. Because empathy involves understanding, another critical factor in being empathetic is listening — active listening.

Active listening is mindful and focused. It's not listening while engaged in other activities. It's not listening with the primary purpose of framing a response, rebuttal or argument. It's not listening from an already determined perspective, opinion or judgment.

Active listening also involves being aware of, and able to interpret, nonverbal signals or body language. If an employee is verbally expressing agreement, for instance, but frowning with their arms crossed in front of them, that may be a nonverbal cue that they are not really in agreement and maybe pressing further upon: "I want to make sure we're in agreement, because I'm picking up some signals that we may not be."

It's important to always check perceptions and assumptions with both verbal and nonverbal interactions. Don't make assumptions. Check in with your own biases. Verify and clarify to ensure that you are, indeed, understanding — and, consequently, being empathetic and not thinking through just your experiences, because employees' are usually quite different.

Being empathetic takes practice and may not come easily to you immediately. Over time, though, you are likely to find yourself feeling more comfortable in your interactions with others, less likely to make assumptions without first listening and clarifying, and more likely to foster a climate that is engaging and motivating for your employees and others. After all, empathy doesn't only come into play in the workplace; it's an important skill to have when involved in any type of interaction with others.