How to discuss mass shootings with kids: Brunswick County therapist offers tips to parents

NEW HANOVER AND BRUNSWICK COUNTIES (WWAY) — Parents are on edge and preparing for difficult conversations after a shooting in Texas killed 19 elementary schoolers and two teachers.

“It’s just like another day in this country it seems like,” said mother, Nicole Donatl as he pushed her daughter on a swing. “It’s horrible. It’s really horrible.”

As children played at Long Leaf Park, parents like Donatl couldn’t help but think about Tuesday’s shooting. A man watching his nephew when a lawnmower backfired near the park Wednesday says some people mistook it for gunfire, grabbing the children and beginning to run.

“Just, a day after a tragedy just like that i

n Texas, it’s kind of hard to deal with,” said Elisha Frederick as he held his nephew. “You, know there’s a lot of kids out here.”

With school shootings becoming more common, licensed psychotherapist Marilyn Morgan says it might be time to have a difficult conversation with your kids.

“It’s really important,” she explained. “You want them to know you are safe place, that you are alert.”

Morgan recommends having an open conversation around the time kids are old enough to go to school, being honest about what could happen and reassuring them of their safety.

“You know those drills that you had in school?,” Morgan continued. “That’s what those were for, to keep you safe.”

Mom, Nancy Ly watched her three-year-old son as he pretended to fish on Long Leaf Park’s playground. She says she can’t help but get overwhelmed thinking about Tuesday’s shooting, picturing her son in that scenario.

“And I feel real terrible for those families,” she said. “I’m praying for them. And of course it angers me, that that’s… I mean why would you do something like that? That’s horrible.”

Morgan urges parents to keep their emotions under control when having that conversation.

“If you as a parent feel sad, or are distressed, angry, that’s ok to show that to a child as long as the emotion isn’t overwhelming.”

CBS reports all loved ones of the victims in Uvalde, Texas have now been notified.

We reached out to area schools about the shooting.

Pender County Schools responded, “When you hear about a senseless act of violence, especially when it happens at a school, it shakes you to the core. What happened Tuesday in Texas is unimaginable and we keep those in the Uvalde community in our thoughts and prayers. Thankfully we have a very close working relationship with area law enforcement who provide School Resource Officers to schools across our district. The safety of our children is our number one priority which is why staff across the district undergo ALICE (Alert, Lockdown, Inform, Counter, Evacuate) training with the help of the Pender County Sheriff’s Office. The hope is you never have to use the training, but we would rather be prepared.”

Brunswick County Schools responded, “We, along with schools across the county, are mourning with the Uvalde school community in the wake of yesterday’s tragedy in Texas.   Here at home, if any students or staff need to speak with someone, our school counselors and student services are here for you.  Please don’t hesitate to ask for a moment to talk.”

We reached out to Congressman David Rouzer about Tuesday’s shooting. He responded:

“What happened yesterday in Uvalde, Texas was heinous and tragic.   I can only imagine the heartbreak and grief being experienced by every parent and loved one — not to mention the traumatic experience of the children and teachers who witnessed and survived it.  

We know this was a troubled 18-year-old filled with evil.  As I have said regarding other school shootings in the past, we have a crisis of the heart and mind among some of our youth in this country stemming from what I believe to be a moral and spiritual crisis that must be addressed by society as a whole.  Troubled individuals aren’t born with a heart filled with hate and evil.  It’s acquired over time based on what they absorb reading, watching, and experiencing.  

 While there is no simple or easy answer, for a very long time in this country you could leave your keys in your parked car and hardly anyone locked their front doors.  You didn’t have the negative influences of TV, radio, the internet, and social media.  You had families, churches and communities that knew every young person.  Values were taught and society’s standards were high.  We cannot say the same in today’s society.  

 My thoughts and prayers are with the victims, their families, and loved ones.  It is also my prayer that God will grant each of us wisdom and understanding to make a positive difference.”