Mom Angry at Husband Taking Their Only Car on Bachelor Party Splits Opinion

A mom angry with her husband for wanting to drive their only car to a bachelor party, effectively leaving her housebound for a few days with a baby, has divided opinion online.

The mom shared her dilemma to Mumsnet, under username Clego, as she explained they had a one-year-old baby, and lived in a remote village.

They share a car which her husband wanted to take to his brother's bachelor party for two nights next month.

File photo of a wedding car.
File photo of a wedding car. a mom has sought advice over her husband taking their only car to a bachelor party. George Doyle/Getty Images

She wrote: "It will be his second stag do of the year and the third time he has left me for more than one night to look after DS.

"We live in a village and have only one car between us, which my husband bought. I did have my own car, but sold it as we used it so infrequently that I kept having to replace the battery.

"My husband wants to take our only car on the stag do, which would leave me and DS car-less for the weekend (not great for emergencies and would leave me and DS house bound).

"I have offered to pay for a rental car for him to use, but he is insisting that he wants to take our car. My real problem is that I would have to move our very safe, but very heavy and difficult to install car seat into a rental car, just so he can take our car instead.

"Husband cannot fit the car seat as he's not very practical, and given that DS's safety is at stake, I'm not prepared to let him do a rubbish job of it."

The mom, who clarified she also needed to pick up their child from nursery one day, signed off by asking: "Am I being unreasonable in expecting him to take a rental car so I don't have to fight with the car seat twice?"

I have offered to pay for a rental car for him to use, but he is insisting that he wants to take our car."
Mom

The post, shared on Thursday, has amassed more than 230 responses and can be read here, as people weighed in on the debate.

Comedycook thought: "Very selfish. We have one car. If dh ever goes somewhere without me and the DC, he always takes public transport so I still have access to the car."

Bathroom2022 agreed, saying: "It's really selfish of him. We don't have access to even a shop without a car and I would feel completely miserable, and also worried in an emergency."

JenniferBarkley said: "YANBU—we have one car and small children. The car stays with the kids, even if it won't necessarily be used."

HettyHoo reckoned: "Come on it's only a weekend. It's really not so traumatic for you to stay in for a couple of days is it?!"

Eddiemairswife pointed out: "I'm assuming you have a mobile phone and a few acquaintances. Get their numbers in case of a genuine emergency."

Clymene asked: "And I don't understand why he needs to take it. Other people will have cars, you can fit at least 4 people into most cars."

Princessoftheuniverse questioned: "Why are people telling OP to manage without a car? Maybe she could but she doesn't want to. Her DP wants to have his cake and eat it. Utterly selfish. It's not as if he won't have a car to use."

Although Momicrone pointed out: "I agree in the ideal world, you should keep the car, however I still don't understand why you can't cope without a car for 48 hours?"

The mom shared more details in the comments, saying: "I really don't mind that he's going—it is his brother's stag after all—but I would like him to appreciate that him going means more childcare for me, so if he can make my life a little bit easier then he should prioritise that?"

And she summarized her position, adding: "Am I annoyed that DH has gone away so much? No—we've had a tough few years with the pandemic and he's really missed socializing.

"Am I annoyed that he doesn't seem to appreciate that he is able to go because I am taking on extra responsibility for our child to enable him? Yes, very much so."

In the U.K., where the couple are thought to be based, the average cost of a bachelor party—called a stag do across the pond—is £174.44 ($217.59) for a staycation, and £206.35 ($257.40) to go to a European destination.

The figures, shared by website Thestagcompany.com last year, were broken down further, with the company citing a one-night stay in the U.K. came to an average of £147.97 ($184.57), while a two-night trip rose to £204.12 ($254.62).

For a vacation abroad, that went up to £168 ($209.56) for one night, and £224.46 ($279.99) for two nights.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

About the writer


Rebecca Flood is Newsweek's Audience Editor (Trends) and joined in 2021 as a senior reporter.

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