Entertainment TV Why Vanessa Lachey Got Real About Her Relationship with Nick on 'The Ultimatum' : 'Just Me Being Me' Vanessa Lacey tells PEOPLE she and husband Nick try to bring their full selves when they host because "it's more relatable and tangible to people when you're authentic and not putting up a facade" By Kelly Wynne Kelly Wynne Kelly Wynne has been a TV writer at PEOPLE digital since 2021. Her work has been seen in Newsweek, where she acted as a reality TV and true-crime writer, Atwood Magazine and her mental health blog, The Chronically. People Editorial Guidelines and Mary Park Mary Park Mary S. Park is a writer-reporter at PEOPLE. She has been writing about entertainment, celebrity and lifestyle for over a decade. People Editorial Guidelines Published on May 19, 2022 01:10PM EDT Nick and Vanessa Lachey on The Ultimatum. Photo: Ilana Panich-Linsman/Netflix Vanessa Lachey wasn't afraid to open about some of the growing pains in her relationship with husband Nick Lachey. The Ultimatum co-host, 41, told PEOPLE she chose to share the story of her own make-or-break moment with Nick, 48, with contestants on the show because it felt natural. "I mean don't know that it's baring my soul. It's just me being me," she told PEOPLE at Paramount's Upfront on Wednesday. "And it's something that I would say to a girlfriend that I would also say to a young couple looking for advice — like, I don't know what the right way is to navigate this world. I know how we've done it." Nick and Vanessa Lachey Detail Past Crossroads in Their Relationship in The Ultimatum Sneak Peek Vanessa said that authenticity is a point she and Nick take into their hosting jobs, whether it's The Ultimatum, Love Is Blind or anything else. "That's something that, like, Nick and I talk about all the time," she continued. "That's why he doesn't like acting but loves hosting. He's like, 'I only know how to be myself.' And I feel like it's really — it's more relatable and tangible to people when you're authentic and not putting up a facade." ADAM ROSE/NETFLIX Nick and Vanessa Lachey Used to Go Through Each Other's Phones — but Therapy Helped Them Stop For The Ultimatum, it was about letting the cast know they aren't alone. "So letting them know that, yeah, we had these issues or yeah, this is how we were but this is what worked for us and maybe it might work for you," she said. On the series, Vanessa revealed she'd given Nick an ultimatum a few years into their relationship, even though "I always said I was going to be that girl that would never give a man an ultimatum." She explains, "We dated for five years. So I finally said, 'What are we doing?' I have now moved in with him, I renovated his entire bachelor pad, there was a bar in the pool. I'm like, 'Whatever you want!' Now I'm like, 'Okay, well, I want to put kids in the pool.'" During The Ultimatum's reunion episode, Nick and Vanessa revealed even more about their relationship struggles — and divulged they used to snoop in each other's phones. "Honestly, I remember we went to a therapist and she was like, 'If y'all are going through each other's phones, then you shouldn't be together,'" Vanessa recalled. "I'm like, 'You're right. I need to trust this man and he needs to trust me.'" Season 1 of The Ultimatum is available to stream in full on Netflix now.