Instinctive Wisdom: Tapping Into Your Body as a Brain

Difficult moments are inevitable. And handling them well is not a given. When emotions are heightened, it isn't easy to navigate situations cool and engaged. Haven't we all said something we immediately regretted to a colleague in the heat of the moment when we were at the whim of our unpredictable emotions? It is true that emotional, social, and behavioral learning happens at a below-conscious level. The good news is you have it within you to keep the train from derailing.

Believe it or not, your body is the first to respond before your thoughts and feelings are triggered. Indeed, Glen, my husband, had a physical reaction when he sat on the "magic rock" in Costa Rica. That reaction was the first step leading to our Radical Sabbatical. On the surface, it was the most difficult decision we ever made as a couple. But we always went back to Glen's somatic intelligence as our divining rod.

These reactions are that telling and powerful. So, by becoming attuned to your inner state, you will be more rooted with resolve—more informed and prepared by what your body is saying. I bet they didn't teach you that in business school!

There are three components of intelligence: emotional (EQ), social, and somatic. When operating effectively, they are a powerhouse trio. And you will know it when they are, for the feeling within is empowering and calm.

Let's talk about the less-discussed somatic intelligence. As the foundation of emotional and social intelligence, it is what you feel physically. Surprisingly, it is the primary driver of all communication. And you are about to learn how to channel it effectively.

Are you ready to transform the way you engage with yourself and others? Here is how you can harness the wisdom of your body to drive transformative conversations (along with a few anonymous quotes from our clients):

Identify what ease physically feels like in your body.

To create an increased awareness of what you need to do in any given moment and experience a sense of ease, ask yourself, "Where do I feel this in my body? What is going on with me right now physically? Is my heart rate going up? How is my posture? What do I need to do to ease moving into this conversation in a grounded fashion?" The more you become aware of how your body responds to different circumstances, the more you will redirect your energy in any given situation.

Client outcome: "I haven't checked my blood pressure on my watch or anything yet, but I have a sense that it's a lot less high in those types of situations. This is good because it's giving me more time and more mental bandwidth to focus on actually doing stuff, as opposed to resistive argumentation or anything else, or just scoring points, if you will. It's Whose Line Is It Anyway? The points don't matter."

Become aware of where you hold tension.

Our body's natural reaction is to tense up in discomfort. Does your upper back feel tense when you are stressed? Do you lean forward when anxious? Are you fidgeting when impatient?

Our bodies always know when we are triggered before we do. By listening to your body, you will quickly identify and address the internal by shifting the physical. For example, raise your shoulders right now to your ears and breathe. How easy is it to breathe with your shoulders raised? Now drop your shoulders and breathe. It's much easier, isn't it? Breathing from a more relaxed state can significantly improve your response in any situation.

Relax your body before meetings.

How do you feel before meetings? Are you relaxed and focused or anxious and scattered? To open yourself up and reduce triggers, put yourself into a relaxed state. It will shift the neurochemicals and allow you to be collaborative and transformational because of your energy.

First, become aware of how you feel and where you feel it in the body. Then, shift your body to a relaxed posture and take deep breaths to feel at ease.

Client outcome: "I felt more focused on either reading the room or being involved in the conversation than I probably would have been before."

Scan your body before making critical decisions.

Make your way from the crown of your head to your feet. By tapping into the parasympathetic nervous system, you will instantly create a sense of calm. Notice sensations such as how your skin, breathing, and gut feel. You will be primed to drive better decisions and experience more cohesiveness because you recognize how you're showing up.

Focus on physical cues, especially when moving into difficult conversations.

When you feel reactive, shift your focus from the internal dialogue to your physical response. Take a brief pause and re-engage your inner awareness to come back to center. You will never regret taking five seconds to pause or even walk away to collect yourself. You will, however, regret saying something hurtful amid an emotional hijack.

Client outcome: "She opened up a lot, which was amazing. So, I think ultimately, what came out of that was we opened up a bigger line of communication."

Improve your posture.

Your everyday posture plays a significant role in your resilience to stress. Studies have shown that simple shifts can increase your inner sense of calm. Amanda Blake suggests shifting the pelvis from anterior to a balanced anatomical position in her book, Your Body is Your Brain. For ideal body alignment while sitting, transfer your weight to the bottom of the pelvis.

Go for a walk.

Take daily mindfulness walks—hands are phone-free, ears are headphone-free. Studies show that a walk around the block produces endorphins, improves your mood, and releases pent-up energy. And your body will tell you when it needs movement. For example, pain in your lower back and stiffness in your neck are signs you need to get up out of your chair. So, schedule breaks in your day to avoid getting to that point entirely—perhaps during lunch or first thing in the morning.

Client outcome: "I think I can see farther into the future. I think I can think more. I think I can make better decisions. I think I feel better. Inside, I feel better. I feel more content. Frankly, I feel more in control, and I like to be in control."

Stop the monkey mind.

James Pennebaker of the University of Texas at Austin made his "expressive writing" concept popular in the 1980s to declutter an overtaxed mind. It's almost like physics. If you see the thought on the page, it is no longer in your mind. You have essentially removed it, and it is now positioned where you can objectively deal with it as a more neutral party to the circumstance. It is the physical manifestation of the popular term "brain dump" and is highly effective, so do not let this technique get away from you.

Client outcome: "I'm writing them down [thoughts]. Then when I come back in a little bit, I'm picking them up and finishing… At the end of the day and at the end of the week, looking at tomorrow and looking at next week helps too. I have a few more. This is an agenda for a meeting I'm having with somebody tomorrow. Because I thought about it, and I thought, 'I'm going to write it all down, the five things I want to talk about. So I don't forget.' Because then I can let it go."

By committing yourself to the above techniques, many of the conflicts you encounter, both internal and external, can be redirected toward a productive outcome. The learned practices which previously hindered your ability to face conflict will be replaced with robust and calm resolve. Tap into somatic intelligence, and you will take yourself places you never thought possible with information that you naturally possess.

If you want to expand your knowledge in this area, I highly recommend Amanda Blake's book, Your Body is Your Brain. You can also listen to this podcast in which I share how somatic intelligence is linked to emotional intelligence.